Page 130 of Fall Into Me

“Ash?”

“Mmm?”

“What if he doesn’t come back?” My voice was small, like the deep-rooted fear of what the answer could be was shrinking me. It felt like he might be the only person in the world I could ask that question of, and who would know why it was one I even needed to ask in the first place.

“Jerry?”

I pulled back and wiped my eyes before rolling them at him so intensely I could’ve set him alight.

“He never left you,” he said simply. “Not really.”

I scoffed. “There are two years between us that say different.”

Ash’s expression hardened. “Two years of him working himself half dead. Of learning how to invest the shit out of everything he earned, living on scraps just so that he could come to your door and make sure he could give you everything you’d ever need and want and dream of. Two years of paying your mom’s hospital bills—”

“My what?”

Ash froze, his face an instant mask of regret. Like he’d just incorrectly used an enema. “I—”

“What did you just say?” The wobble in my voice wasn’t even something I could’ve hid if I tried.

“Cali, he doesn’t even know I know,” he said quickly. “Your dad said something a while ago in passing, and I did a little digging.”

“I’m going to kill him,” I choked, overwhelmed by the weight of the truth, the love it carried. My heart swelled in my chest, too big, too full.

“No, you’re not.” Ash’s face softened, and he reached out, tapping his knuckles gently to my chin.

“No, I’m not,” I whispered.

* * *

I clutched Ash’s phone in my hand. While I’d been sobbing in his somewhat stiff but still comforting embrace at the hospital, I’d blubbered a culmination of words that he somehow managed to translate into “I need to call Fane.”

I did call him. I called him four times, and each time went to voicemail.

“Something’s wrong,” I mumbled to myself and then shook my head. “No, it’s not.” Followed by another mumble a second later. “Fuck, maybe—”

“This is fascinating to watch.” Ash didn’t sound worried in the slightest, and I couldn’t tell whether that was because he was freaking out and wanted to keep me calm or he was genuinely fine.

He released a sigh, “Cammy, he left in the middle of the night after working all day, and I would wager a guess that his phone died.”

“I…hadn’t thought of that.” I frowned. “You’re right.”

“Papa’s always right.”

“Who’s Papa?”

“I’mPapa?” He was smiling, and I felt like it was a public service when I licked my finger and stuck it in his ear.

“What thefuck,Carla?!”

“You’re never allowed to refer to yourself as ‘Papa’ ever again. It gives off leopard print mankini vibes, Andrew.Thisis why you’re single.”

“I’m positive it’s not,” he mumbled under his breath.

“It certainly doesn’t help your case.” I stuck my tongue out at him and he just stuck his back.

Regardless of Fane’s lack of contact, he should be getting to Darling soon. It was around a five-hour drive, but he had always been a little pedal-happy. I held onto that thought and let it soothe the swirling in my stomach.

---