Page 96 of Fall Into Me

“You’re going to ruin this moment, aren’t you?” Her smile turned wry, but there was no malice in it.

“Yesterday—”

“Fane, no. It’s—”

“Please, Cali. This is important.”

If she said she didn’t want to talk about it again, I’d respect it. Sometimes it felt like I was walking on eggshells around her. Terrified that I’d make the wrong move, and I’d lose her again. Sometimes it felt like the ground beneath my feet was steady enough for me to push a little harder.

When she didn’t say anything, I kept going.

“I have thought about you every single day from the moment you left.” Her eyes snapped to the clock on my neck. “I’ve thought of everything. Every single piece of you.” I swallowed hard. “It probably won’t help my cause to tell you I’m pissed at you too, but no matter the answers you have to my questions, I’m going to want you anyway. No matter what your ‘why’ is, it doesn’t matter to me. It’s never mattered.”

“My ‘why’?”

“Why you left.” My chest was fucking aching.

Her brow furrowed deeper. “What’s your ‘why’?”

“Why I let you.” I reached up and tucked a wayward strand of hair behind her ear. “That’s why I said no. Because you mighthear my answer and hate it, and if I let you…if you touched me and you still left? I wouldn’t survive that. Not twice.”

It was the most honest I’d been with myself since I could remember, the most open I think I’d ever been.

Her fingers stilled, gripping the hem of my shirt. She took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “So, we need to talk.”

“We do.”

She peeked up at me, a ghost of her smile returning. “Can you make me breakfast first?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

29

Calista

After

I walked out of the bathroom Monday morning, still scrunching the ends of my hair with a towel, and rounded the corner into the kitchen.

“Hey, do you—” Fane turned, words freezing mid-sentence. His mouth opened and closed like he was malfunctioning. Those violet eyes of his—brighter than usual—didn’t leave my face, locked onto me.

“What?” My face felt like it was on fire. Actual fire. I dragged a finger up my nose, pushing my glasses back up out of habit.

“You…you’re wearing your glasses,” he said, his frown pulling a giggle out of me. At the sound, his lips curved into an easy smile, his hand tugged at his hair in a way that felt far too casual for how hard my heart was beating.

“Yeah, it’s been a while.” I shrugged, trying to play it off, even though these glasses hadn’t seen daylight since the day I movedback to Darling—desperate to come to terms with the fact that the person I had been was no longer the person I was.

I wanted something physical, something real to show how I’d irrevocably changed.

The glasses were the first thing that came to mind.

“You look…” he murmured, finding his words. “I think you look beautiful either way.” The words settled in my chest like a warm blanket on a cold night. Like a fine thread and needle, slowly but surely closing me up.

For the first time in a long time, it felt like there were no walls between us. No rules or ribbons of tension strung so tight they threatened to snap. It was like taking that first clean breath after the smoke cleared.

Even during my weekly visit with Dad, where we sat hand in hand, staring out at the mountains that framed Darling, a part of me itched to get home. Back to Fane.

The conversation we both knew we needed to have hung between us like a storm cloud, but neither of us made much effort to break it open. It was a team effort, really. We took turns steering clear.

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