Page 71 of Fierce Secrets

I needed to figure out what I wanted in regards to him. If I was willing to risk everything, or take Sof up on her offer. Or even just Gray's offer.

Gray collapsed onto the couch beside me again, exhaustion evident in every line of his body. "These past few days have been hell all round."

"Yep," I agreed, settling beside him.

"How are you, actually?" He turned to me, concern evident in his green eyes that matched my own. "With everything? The memories?"

"I'm okay, actually. Still adjusting to what I know now, but..." I shrugged. "Doing quite well considering, I think."

"I'm surprised you haven't had any panic attacks," he mused. "With everything that's happened..."

I frowned, realizing he was right. "Yeah, that is weird actually. Even with all this chaos, I haven't felt one coming on."

"Maybe because you know the truth now," Sofia suggested from her perch on the armchair. "Could be the attacks were a symptom of your repressed trauma needing to surface?"

"That's crazy," Gray said, but I wondered if she might be onto something.

"I need to talk to Leo," I said, knowing it was time to face the music. Talking to him was the only way I'd figure out what Iwanted to do. I'd spent hours already mulling over while trying to distract myself with games to no avail.

"Right." Gray turned back to Sof, who had nodded knowingly. "Fancy another round of cards while we wait here?"

As I headed down the hall, I heard Sofia ask Gray if he needed a drink, that she was done with cards. So much for her not wanting to drink any more today. Then again, today had taken an unexpected turn.

I approached the closed door of what I assumed to be an office, gathering my courage before knocking.

He called for me to enter, and I sucked in a steadying breath, ready to take on whatever awaited me.

I found Leo at the desk, his chair swiveled to the window, his silhouette stark against the darkness outside. The sun had set now, and all he had on was the desk lamp, casting long shadows across the office. He didn't turn, but I felt him register my presence – the slight tension in his shoulders, the heavy sigh he let out.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly, his voice carrying that familiar note of concern that both warmed and frustrated me right now.

"That's all you ever care about, isn't it? How I am?" I said softly as I closed the door behind me.

He finally turned, studying me as I approached. The lamplight caught the angles of his face, making him look carved from marble – beautiful and dangerous. My fingers itched to trace the strong line of his jaw, to feel if his skin was as cool as it looked in this light. I knew it wasn't, but it was tempting nonetheless. I pushed the urge away.

"Are you upset with me?" I asked as I hesitated by the door.

"No."

"Not even a little?"

"No, Mer."

The nickname softened me, along with how low his tone was, like he was reassuring a child.

"I didn't want you killing Andrew Sullivan without finding out the whole story. I take it there's no more news on that front?" I shoved my hands into my sweat pockets. I was still in the comfy clothes from Sof's, my sweats and an oversized tee I normally slept in.

"Nothing yet, but we've got eyes on him, people going through his financials, his phone calls, everything. Once we know we've uncovered every stone, we'll handle the situation. Gray's way," he added knowingly, and I nodded. I wanted to bring up the kiss, to address this tension between us. To figure it all out.

"I know you didn't kill that Malatesta man," I said as I stood before him on the other side of the desk, resting my hands on it. The wood was smooth beneath my fingers, grounding me. "But you've killed others."

He nodded, no hesitation. No attempt to soften the truth. "It's part of who I am. Part of my world, my family's legacy. It's who we are, what we do to protect what is ours. We have people who handle most of the bloody side of things, but sometimes, we need to step in and handle it ourselves." The way he said it, it made me wonder if he really needed to step in, or if some part of him enjoyed it.

"Does it bother you?" I searched his face for any hint of the gentle man who'd held me through nightmares.

"Sometimes." His eyes met mine in the darkness, and for a moment, I saw vulnerability there. He sighed as he leaned forward, resting one elbow on the desk to prop his chin up as he stared at me. As if he was preparing himself to be truthful with me. "It's why I keep Gray close. He... keeps me human, in his own way." The way he said it, like it was a dark confession, made my lip curl slightly.

So Sofia had been right in a way. Leo was clinging to his humanity in this dark world he'd been brought into.

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