They giggle as I work my way around their campfire, kissing them each on the cheek and even going so far as to give Bev a small slap on the butt. She’s a super-funny lady with a raspy, smoker’s-style laugh, widowed three years ago, and I like to keep the spice alive in her life. Wendy Winslow, of course, hates it quite a bit.

“Jude!” my mom chastises as Bev blushes, and Aunt Paula and Winnie both giggle some more.

“Sorry, sorry,” I apologize, lifting both of my hands in the air defensively. “I just can’t help myself.”

“I don’t mind,” Bev affirms, smiling like the cat who got the cream.

I wink, and the ladies dissolve in a titter again.

“God, please help my son,” my mom pretends to pray, lifting her eyes heavenward. “One day, I pray that he be blessed with impulse control.”

I chuckle and shake my head before placing another kiss on my mom’s cheek. “Sorry, Ma, but I don’t think it’s going to happen if it hasn’t already.”

“Get out of here,” Winnie says playfully, dropping her foodstuffs to shove me in the shoulder toward the back door. “You’re better off out at the grill with the men where there’s no code of conduct.”

I agree with a salute and a bow, and then tuck out the spring-loaded back door as quickly as possible. Trust me, those women are the light of my life, but I’m much better suited to hanging out with the men of the family any day of the week, even if it is cold enough to freeze my nuts off out there.

“Heyyy!”

“Yooo!”

“Jude!”

The guys all yell as I step out onto the porch, and Uncle Brad smiles at me before thumping his palm on the back of my head.

“Hey! What was that for?” I cry, scooting away quickly while Flynn and Remy both laugh ruthlessly at my expense. My brother-in-law Wes smiles but at least has the decency to keep his hilarity on the inside.

“For thegiftyou got me,” my uncle answers, shooting me with something red and lacy like it’s a slingshot. After a quick juggle, I hold it up curiously, and then I drop it like a hot potato when I discover it’s a women’s thong of unknown origin.

“Wha… I didn’t… That’s not… Uncle Brad!” I stammer, making Remy nearly choke on his beer as Ty comes walking out the back door to join us. “I think there’s been a misunderstanding.”

“Yeah,” Uncle Brad agrees. “I bet. You know, I think I might know what happened.”

“Oh yeah?” I ask, swallowing nervously. No matter what, I don’t think there’s a good way for me to get out of this.

“Yeah. See, I think you deflected on the gift-picking altogether and expected your sister to get something for you. And, in a brilliant move of revenge, this is what she chose.”

I chuckle uneasily and glance to my three brothers as they laugh behind their beer bottles. I’m immediately suspicious. “What the fu—dge? Why am I the only one getting crucified?”

“Remy, Flynn, and Ty all got me gifts of their own. Nice ones,” Uncle Brad says, illuminating the depth of my siblings’ betrayal.

“I thought we had an understanding!” I exclaim at the traitors.

“We did,” Remy hedges while Ty snickers. “An understanding that we were all willing to let you bury yourself on this one.”

Ty reaches out to high-five him, and I lift up my middle finger, swinging it wildly toward them all. “I hate every single one of you.” I pause on Ty and give him another middle finger for good measure, emphasizing, “Especially you.”

“Me? What did I do?”

“Give me a break, dude. Do you really not realize the torture you’re putting all these women through?”

His eyebrows draw together, and he laughs. “You mean Stephanie?”

I shrug hugely. “I don’t have a clue, dude. I don’t know her name because we never know their names. Why do you always insist on bringing these randos to family shit?”

“What? I’m not supposed to bring women I’m dating to family get-togethers now?”

Even Flynn scoffs at that. “Come on, Ty. You’re notdatingher. Sleeping with her, maybe.”