Page 101 of The Winslow Brothers

“It’s basically just a…uh…well, it’s like writing cursive with your tongue,” Wes tries to smooth it over, but in reality, makes it a hundred times worse.

Remy, Flynn, Ty, and I all dissolve into full-bodied guffaws, and my mom turns to violence, smacking each of us who are within reach, one by one.

“Oh. Could I do it with numbers? I like writing numbers better.”

Winnie glares at me, and I shrug. It’s not my fault, really.I mean, fuck, how was I supposed to see this coming?

Desperate to move on, Winnie changes the subject bluntly. “Oh, before I forget! Lexi’s Mathletes competition is next Thursday night at her school. And we want everyone to be there, right, Lex?”

My niece nods. “Right.”

“Oh, that is so exciting, honey!” my mom comments and claps her hands together. “I can’t wait to see it!”

“I wouldn’t miss it, Lexi Lou,” I answer, smiling over at her as I finally dish some food onto my plate, and Rem, Flynn, and Ty respond with similar sentiments.

Finally feeling a little hungry thanks to the unexpected laugh session, I toss my first bite of spaghetti into my mouth. Simultaneously, my phone buzzes on the table, and despite the nosy-ass family members surrounding me, I check the screen to find a message that makes me smile so big, my fucking face starts to hurt.

Sophie: Okay. This is a crazy request, you realize that, right? Asking me to leave town and go to an unknown destination for two days with a guy I barely know?

Immediately, I type out a response and hit send.

Me: So is having sex in a public restroom, but hey, look how well that turned out. Also, I have too many pairs of your panties at this point to be called “a guy you barely know.”

Sophie: HA. God. Okay, hypothetically, if I say yes, when would we leave?

Me: I’d pick you up around 10 tonight.

Sophie: That’s in, like, three hours!

Me: In my defense, those three hours are like the last 3 of 48. I gave you the same amount of time as detectives have to find a missing person before they turn up dead! I’m not sure if you realize or not, but they have to do a lot of stuff in that amount of time, and with the number of episodes I’ve seen of that show, they’re successful like eighty percent of the time. Surely you can make a simple decision.

Sophie: Jude, you asked me right before you made me come inside a public bathroom at the Plaza. That’s grounds for a mistrial, at least.

Damn, I love when she gets all sassy like this. Even if we’re mixing jargon, they’re still some of the wittiest messages I’ve ever shared with a woman.

Me: I plead guilty, your honor. But I don’t really think you can convict me of anything other than satisfaction. I made you come TWICE, by the way.

Sophie: I’m so rolling my eyes at you right now.

Me: Well, I’d like to remind you that time is ticking, babe. Come have the time of your life with me for a few days and more orgasms than your body can handle OR…you know…stay in New York and do boring shit. It’s up to you. Take it or leave it.

I watch as the text bubbles on the screen float up and down. And I swear a good minute goes by without an actual response.

But then, one chimes in.

Sophie: Okay. Fine. This is NUTS. Pretty much insane. But count me in.

Hell motherfucking yes.

Me: You won’t regret it.

Sophie: Can you give me a hint on where we’re going so I know what I need to pack?

I smirk and type out one final response.

Me: Anything you want. Plus, lots of sexy panties. See you at 10.

I lock the screen of my phone and go back to eating dinner. Thankfully, everyone’s moved on to ribbing someone else, and they don’t have the energy to pay attention to me.

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