Page 136 of The Winslow Brothers

“Yeah.” I nod.

“Because I have to say, I’m still a little confused and slightly horrified about how Girl Scouts and orgasms go together, you know?”

I should probably laugh at that because it’s fucking ridiculous, but humor is not an emotion I can feel right now. But thankfully, telling my sister everything is something Icanmanage. And while it’s difficult as hell and I shed more tears than I’d like, I crack my Jude box wide open.

I tell Belle how things started between us. How things progressed. I tell her about all our secret meetups and about Vegas and how I met his family.

I even tell her about the secret sex club where no sex happened because Jude wanted to leave. How it felt like things had changed between us and how horribly wrong everything went last night.

And I tell her how devastated I felt—still feel—when he left.

Once I’m finished, Belle just wraps me up in her arms and gives me a tight, loving hug.

“I’m so sorry, Soph,” she whispers into my ear. “I wish you would’ve told me about Jude before now.”

“I know. I should have.”

“Man, I can’t believe my bachelorette party was a catalyst for this,” she mutters. “But I can definitely understand the draw. Pretty sure any woman would understand. The man is like an irresistible Greek god with a smile that could light panties on fire. Although, I’m currently struggling with the urge to go track his ass down and straight up kill him for hurting you like this.”

Her mere mention of panties threatens to send me spiraling again, but I dig deep to push the unwanted emotion back down into my belly.

Belle runs her fingers through my hair, rooting me in comfort I really needed to feel, and we both just stay in her bed, staring up at the ceiling of her bedroom.

“I don’t want to ask you this, but I have to, Soph. Do you really think there’s no hope?”

I shake my head and swallow around the thick ball of emotion lodged in my throat. “It’s done.”

“God, I’m so sorry.” Belle frowns, and all I can do is shrug. But then she surprises me with her next line of questions. “Can I put in a request? No more secrets between us, okay?”

My therapy sessions with Dr. Winters pop into my brain, and I cringe.

Unfortunately, Belle doesn’t miss it. “What? What is it, Soph? Is there something else?”

I shake my head. Sigh. I even almost lie and tell her I’ve told her everything, but I realize that all of my lies and secrets played a role in leading me to this desolate state. “I’m not ready to say yet, but just know it’s not something you need to freak out about, all right?”

She searches my face, like she’s trying to figure it out anyway, but ultimately, she gives up and agrees, “Okay.”

A few minutes later, Belle gets out of bed, but I just lie there, mostly numb from all the crying jags, but also, my head still spinning around like a top over thoughts of Jude.

Why does it have to hurt so bad?

Because you’re in love with him.

I shove my face into my sister’s pillows again and fight back the tears with a groan. I know I shouldn’t have fallen in love with Jude Winslow, but it’s pretty fucking obvious that’s what I went and did.

“Okay, yeah.” Belle’s voice fills my ears. “I think it’s safe to say today isnota workday and I need to call Katelynn and let her know her ass better drive into the city because we need a Sage Sister day.”

“You don’t have to do that,” I mutter into the pillow, but my sister is undeterred.

“You’re not getting out of this one, Soph. We’re having a ‘fuck boys’ day!”

“Yeah, fuck those boys!” John yells from the kitchen, apparently hearing more of our conversation than he was letting on.

I lift my head from the pillows just in time to see Belle shout back at him with cupped hands around her mouth. “Mind your business! You have a dick, too!”

Before I know it, she’s keeping her word and grabbing her cell to call Katelynn. And by the time she hangs up the phone, Belle lets me know that our elder sister is going to meet us at Amelia’s Diner for breakfast.

I feel relief to be surrounded by the support of my sisters. But also, I feel dread over the idea of having to be out in public, when on the inside, I feel like half of my heart has been relocated into someone else’s body.

---