Page 49 of The Misfit

Heat crawls up my neck, but the embarrassment seems to fade. “Not with my cock.”

The admission hangs between us like a bright red flag. It feels good not to carry that secret on my shoulders anymore.

“Shit.” Aries runs a hand over his beard. “And Salem … does she know?”

“That I’m bi? Obviously. That I’ve never fucked a woman? No.”

“You should tell her.”

I laugh, but it comes out hollow. “And this is why none of us take relationship advice from you.”

Aries smiles. “I’m the perfect one to come to for advice. I’ll just tell you to stay the fuck away from women in general.”

All I can do is shake my head. “Well, FYI, it would not go over well if I said, ‘Hey, Pantry Girl, just so you know, I have no idea what I’m doing, but please let me slip my cock inside you.’”

“Smooth.” Aries chuckles.

“See? Not following your advice.”

“Pantry Girl? That’s what you call her?”

I can’t take this fucker seriously. “That’s all you got from that big-ass sentence?”

He nods, accepting this like he accepts most of my weird shit. “If you’re serious about her…”

“I’m serious. She’s not.” The certainty in my voice surprises us both.

“Then make her serious about you. I’m sure she’ll be super gentle when she takes your other virginity.” He wiggles his eyebrows at me.

I flip him off, and he chuckles, but my thoughts drift away from anger and right to Salem. The truth is terrifying. I want her for real.

“What if I mess it up?” The words come out barely a whisper. “What if I hurt her?”

Aries leans close and bumps my shoulder with his. “That’s what everyone worries about, man. Gay, straight, bi—doesn’t matter. First times are scary as fuck.”

“Since when did you become the voice of reason?”

“Since my best friend started having a sexual identity crisis.” He grins, then sobers. “Salem seems … different. Special. Maybe worth being scared for.”

I close my eyes, remembering how she felt in my arms. How she lets me count with her. How she quiets the chaos in my head.

“Yeah,” I whisper. “She is.”

Aries stands, offering me a hand up. “Then figure it out. Preferably before I have to watch you two eye fuck one another at a party.”

“Shut up.” But I take his hand, letting him pull me up.

“Never.” He heads for the door, then pauses. “And Lee?”

“Yeah?”

“About earlier. I’m sorry. I just … I’m really worried about you.”

I don’t say anything since right now I’m worried about me, too. And him.

Fuck, he’s been acting so freaking weird since the graduation party. First, the thing with Bel, and now this. I wonder if he’s feeling the loss of our brotherhood. It’s something to think about. Instead of bringing it up or diving deeper, I nod, understanding what he’s not saying. He’s seen me spiral before. Seen me self-destruct. Seen me run from anything real.

But Salem …