Page 40 of The Misfit

Lee:I’m here. Hope you’re wearing something you can move in.

“What does that mean?” I show Noah the text. Panic starts to build low in my belly from the slight change in plans. “I thought we were going to dinner. A nice, quiet dinner. Clean silverware wrapped in plastic. Individual salt packets?—”

“Salem.” Noah grabs me by the shoulders, then immediately releases me when my entire body tenses. “This is what you need, what you want. Someone who will push you out of your comfort zone and help you find yourself again.”

“Yes, but what if …” My thoughts are a never-ending merry-go-round of everything that could possibly go wrong.

“Stop.” Noah shakes his head at me. “Don’t go down that rabbit hole, or you’ll never leave this room. A thousand things could go wrong, but there are also a thousand things that could go right. What if you enjoy yourself? What if you’re happy? What if you fall in love?”

Fall in love?I freeze at the last suggestion. I really hope not because nothing about us is real, and to fall in love with the man who is using me as a decoy sounds like heartbreak.

“It’s fake, Noah. All of it.” Air shudders out of my lungs. “I don’t want to fall in love with myfakeboyfriend.” Oh god, I’m spiraling. “I can’t do this. I can’t.”

“Stop. Deep breath. You can do this. I’m sorry I saidfall in love. You don’t have to fall in love with him, but you can use this opportunity to experience something new.”

“Something new,” I mumble.

“You trust him, right?” His question catches me off guard.

Do I?

Maybe.

Probably.

Okay, let’s be real. If I didn’t, there is no way I would be going anywhere with him. After a long moment, I nod.

Noah smiles, understanding how close to losing it I am. “Then that’s all that matters. Let him guide you and be your anchor. Not all change is bad, but you’ll never know if you don’t take the risk.”

It’s just a date and a fake one at that. You trust Lee. You know he won’t let anything bad happen, so what’s the problem?

Fear of other people, germs, the whispers, and strange looks. Even as my mind reels, my legs start to move, and I count the steps as I walk down the stairs.

I can hear my therapist’s voice in my head.“In order to conquer the fear, you have to expose yourself to it.”

Exposure therapy is what he calls it. I call it hell on earth.

Conquer your fears. You can do this.

My brother’s encouraging but imposing presence forces me to continue forward.

One: deep breath.

Two: checking my emergency gloves are packed.

Three: steps to the door.

Turning, I give my brother a weak smile.

“You’ve got this, Salem. Have fun, be reckless.” He smiles in return, and I step out onto the porch.It’s not too late to turn around and go back inside.I push the thought away and slowly descend the steps until I reach the sidewalk.

I don’t dare look up until I’ve reached the driveway.

By then I wish I hadn’t. Lee is beautiful, and it’s honestly disgusting because he doesn’t even try. All I can do is stare. Disheveled dark brown hair and lashes that frame a pair of eyes the color of clouds after a rainstorm. I can understand why so many have fallen for him.

I drag my gaze lower, roaming over high cheekbones and a strong jaw that looks chiseled from stone. I’ve looked at Lee many times before, but it’s like I’m seeing him in a different light tonight. In fact, his entire slender body looks carved from stone. I know he’s got an eight-pack on him. I’ve heard the rumors and even seen pictures shared with every girl on the cheerleading team and then somehow sent to every other club on campus. Lee has a body made for sinning, and I know that’s exactly what he uses it for.

He leans against his Jeep, all dangerous grace in ripped black jeans and a shirt that probably costs more than my entire wardrobe.Remember, he’s filthy rich, and he can have any girl he wants.I only tell myself this so I don’t end up falling for him. Maybe if I remind myself enough, I can stop the inevitable from happening.

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