Page 21 of The Misfit

“Wrong. There’s somethingsospecial about you that you make me want to figure you out, and that’s never happened before.”

Nope.I don’t want to be the object of some rich boy’s fascination. I want to find my way back to being who I used to be.

“I’m not a trophy or a prize to be won and claimed. Befriending the weirdo isn’t a requirement for being nice. You can be nice and not pretend to give a shit about me or what I’m going through.” I know I’m coming off bitchy, but I can’t let hisfascinationimpact me, and it will.

Instead of pulling away or reacting with anger, he smiles. It shocks the hell out of me.

“And this right here is why I’m interested in you. You don’t give a fuck who I am. You aren’t trying to sleep with me, and you’re not pretending to be my friend to climb the social ladder.” He leans in closer, and for some reason, I can’t look away, move away, and can hardly breathe as his clean soap scent surrounds me. “In that pantry was the first time in forever I felt seen. I didn’t have to pretend. I was myself, and you witnessed the mask falling away. You saw me, really saw me, and it made me think. Consider …”

The seriousness of this conversation starts to sink in, and I’m seconds away from telling him I need to leave, but I pause when he starts to speak again.

“We share a common problem. You want to be accepted by your peers, and I need the same thing, but for an entirely different reason.”

Is he propositioning me?

I gulp and lick my suddenly dry lips. “I think I should go.”

Even as I say the words, I can’t seem to get my legs to move. His gaze drops to my mouth, then back up to my eyes. “Wait, at least let me finish.”

I give him a small nod, and he continues. “I know you’re working on being normal, anyone can see that, but … wouldn’t it look a whole lot more convincing if you were dating, say… someone who can draw attention away from the fact you’re trying so hard? We’re both looking to fit in. I need someone to make my family think I’m doing that.”

Is he asking me out? Or something else?His words are light—deliberately so—but beneath them runs a current of pain that shines as bright as day. “What … what do you mean? Are you saying we should date? If so, I can’t do that.”

Another dip closer, so close his mouth is inches from mine. The germs … except all I can smell is the peppermint on his breath and the soap on his skin, and the noise in my head just stops for a split second. My brain is quiet, and I almost don’t know what to do. So I listen.

“Why not? You’re single, and so am I. Obviously, it wouldn’t be real, but we both have a dilemma we could use the other person to help. Think about it, Salem. It’ll help you with that sense of being normal.”

“I don’t …” My lips tremble as I try to put together the rest of my response.No.There is no way this would ever work, and even if I have his help, there is no way in hell I could pretend in front of his family. The sheer idea of putting my trust in a man like Lee… I might as well admit myself to the mental hospital again.

“There’s no need to tell me the answer now. Think about it. And maybe Marcus and his asshole friends will leave you alone once they discover you have my protection.”

Perhaps, but I don’t need a pity fake boyfriend, which is kind of what his offer feels like, even if he would be getting something in return. All of these different ideas, thoughts, options, plans… make my anxiety climb higher and higher.

Lee is over the top, a panic attack waiting to happen.

“All I want to do is help you. That’s it. Nothing else. Let me do something good for a change.” He speaks so casually, yet all I can see is the way his beautiful mouth forms each word. Someone across the room calls his name, breaking the spell holding us captive.

No. I can’t do this.Being around him, seeing his pain, mixed with a weird mirage of my own…it reminds me too much of her,Chelsea…of the past. It presses against wounds that aren’t fully healed, that may never be healed.

As interested as I am in Lee, I don’t belong here. Not with him, not at this party, and nowhere in his perfectly planned future. The options, the possibilities, they all echo around me, overwhelming me. I need to leave. I need to think.

“I have to go,” I blurt out, shoving myself off the couch and grabbing my bag in one swift movement. I know it’s rude of me. “I can’t … I should …”

“Salem, wait?—”

I don’t. I’m already moving, counting the steps to the door.

“Salem? What’s going on?” Bel’s concerned voice calls after me, but I continue forward. I don’t stop walking until I reach the elevator and punch the button.

Why do I keep trying? Keep putting myself through this?

No one wants the crazy girl.

No one chooses the broken pieces.

No one stays.

Even now, Lee doesn’t want me, not really. He wants me to pretend, to join him in his parade of masks. Which makes no sense since he said he wanted to stop wearing them.

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