Page 23 of Blue Lines and Lullabies

I faked being asleep the morning he left. I got spooked and ran after our amazing sex, and I couldn’t look him in the eye that morning. I did, however, take a peek at the baby monitor screen sitting beside my bed, and watched him struggle to walk away from Mackenzie. It made me fall a little more for him, which scares the shit out of me.

The first few days of Gabe’s long road trip are beyond awkward. Neither one of us knows how to talk to the other. Our text conversations are random details about stupid stuff until we begin discussing Mackenzie. Then, the convo flows nicely.

Me: It’s sunny today.

Gabe: Rain here.

Me: Where are you?

Gabe: Seattle

Me: Did you go to the Space Needle? Or Pike Place?

Gabe: No to the first one, and I don’t know what the second one is.

Me: It’s the famous fish market where they throw the fish.

Gabe: Oh.

Me: You got a box in the mail.

Gabe: New shoes, I think.

Me: Want me to open and check?

Gabe: No.

Gabe: Just new sneakers. Red ones.

Me: Why red?

Gabe: Favorite color.

Me: I hope it’s alright, but I’ve been sleeping in your room. It’s been easier to grab Kenzie when she wakes up at night.

Me: I got this book about sleep regressions, and I think she’s going through one. She’s been waking up four or five extra times a night.

Me: Since you didn’t answer me, I figured it upset you, so I moved her crib into my room.

Gabe: Okay.

Gabe: Can you send me a couple of pictures of Kenz, please? My mom wants some updated ones.

Me: Sure. Would you like to send them directly to her? I know you’re super busy and focused on hockey. I’m happy to coordinate the exchange. I can get some printed and send them to her if you’d like.

Gabe: Not necessary. I’ll handle it.

Gabe: How’s my girl doing?

Me: I’m doing well, thanks for asking.

Gabe: Uh, I meant my daughter.

Me: Oh. Kenzie’s fine. Lasted for twenty minutes doing tummy time this morning.

Gabe: That’s the longest she’s lasted, right?

Me: Yeah. She’s not a fan of it.

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