Page 21 of Blue Lines and Lullabies

I nod weakly as she walks to the stairs, feeling worse and worse with each step she takes away from me. At the bottom of the staircase, she turns. “Good luck this week, Gabe. Don’t worry about us. We’ll be fine here, and I promise to send you tons of updates.”

Cassie gives me a smile before she quietly heads upstairs. I hear her enter her room, and I’m taken aback by how quickly the night turned. I let out an aggravated breath as I grab my hair and pull hard. Standing, I pull up my pants and walk to the bathroom to deal with the condom.

When both Mackenzie and Cassie are sound asleep the following morning, I sneak into Cassie’s room and leave her the baby monitor. Standing above her, I want to shake her awake and tell her she needs to get on board with … something. Hell, even I don’t know what to call this thing with her. The fact that I’m paying her to nanny my daughter complicates things. If I asked her to date me, would that be some gray area? Could it be viewed as prostitution? I wouldn’t think of it that way, but would she?

Those thoughts make me doubt whether Cassie and I can move forward with anything, so I don’t wake her up. Instead, I lean down and press a soft kiss to her temple. She sighs my name before rolling over, and I quickly leave the room before she wakes up. Heading back into my room, I quietly peer into Mackenzie’s crib. I can feel tears building behind my eyes as I stare at her. I fucking hate having to leave her. I don’t know how other guys on the team do it.

An hour later, I’m on the team plane, flipping through the hundreds of pictures of my daughter on my camera roll.

“You’re gonna be miserable all week, aren’t you?” Jax says as he drops heavily into the seat beside me. I look over to see Levi wearing a smirk as he waits for my reply.

“Yeah, he’s gonna be miserable,” Grant adds as he throws a bag onto the seat in front of me. He ducks his head over to look at my phone and dramatically sighs. “Jesus. How many pictures do you have of her already?”

“Not nearly enough,” I retort.

“I liked the one you sent where she looked stoned out of her mind,” Jax comments.

“It’s called being milk drunk. Let’s not refer to my child as being stoned,” I reply drolly.

Levi looks at his phone and appears to be counting. “You’ve sent us twenty-five pictures in the group text. I’m a little disappointed, Daws. Thought for sure you’d be in triple digits by now. Grant’s sister will probably send you twenty pics a day.”

She damn well better. But the thought of Cassie makes me feel awkward. She rocked my world hours ago, and now her brother is staring at me. And now he’s glaring.

“God dammit!” he shouts. “You fucked her again, didn’t you? What the hell, Gabe? I thought she’d be safe there because of Mackenzie!”

“Lower your fucking voice!” I hiss.

Grant growls at me. “Tell me I’m wrong. You better not be taking advantage of my sister.”

“I’m not taking advantage of her,” I say defensively. “That would insinuate we both weren’t on the same page. We’re adults, Grant. There were no advantages in this situation.”

“I still don’t understand how you met her weeks ago, man. What are the chances?” he asks, his gaze still calculating as he studies me.

I sigh in frustration. “I swear there were no ulterior motives. I’m not sure you mentioned Cassie moving here, and I certainly didn’t scope out where she might stay. The city is pretty big, man. Never thought I’d run into her at one of my favorite hole-in-the-wall restaurants. I wanted to ask for her number, Nally. You have to believe me. I had every intention of seeing her again.”

“Sounds like it was kismet. Karma or something. Meant to be,” Levi comments before turning his phone around and showing me a photo I’ve never seen of Mackenzie.

“Where did you get that one?” I ask.

“Cassie sent it to me,” he says casually.

“What?” I growl.

“We exchanged numbers that first night after you stomped upstairs. I asked for some Kenzie pics, and she’s been sending them regularly.”

“Are you fucking serious? Are you hitting on my nanny?” I awkwardly stand, my height not allowing me to fully extend. I attempt to jump over Jax and get in Levi’s face, but Jax and Grant stop me.

“Dude, no. I just asked for some pics of your kid. Nothing else. You made it clear from the moment you saw Cassie that she was yours,” Levi says, hands up in mock surrender. Jax puts a hand on my shoulder to shove me back into my seat.

“I made it clear?” I ask.

“Fuck yeah, you did,” Jax chortles. When I catch his eyes, he shrugs. “You gave off a vibe, Daws. If you could have peed on her to mark her as yours, you would have.”

“I didn’t want anything to happen,” I admit. “But I’ve felt this pull to Cassie since the first moment I saw her, and it’s only gotten stronger since she moved in.”

“What are you going to do about it?” Levi asks quietly.

“Nothing, I guess.”

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