Page 18 of Fitch

“It’s been a long time since you felt what?” His voice was so soft and deep. “Since you felt safe?”

“Yes.”

All this shit coming to the surface was intense, but still, I refused to cry.

“And this agreement,” he went on. “You want this?”

I nodded into his neck again. “Yes.”

“Why do you want it?” Then he used that commanding tone again. “Be honest with me now. Tell me the reasons.”

Honesty, huh?

Okay then.

“The money. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a factor. And the sex. It’s hot as hell. I don’t know why I find it so hot. I’ve alwaysliked older guys. They know what they want and how they want it, and I find that sexy.”

And that was the honest truth.

“I’m sure there’s probably psych reasons,” I murmured with a shrug. This was the less easy part to discuss. “But it... it calms me. Having a daddy to look after me, make decisions for me because he knows what’s best for me. Making me feel good. Making me feel valid and worthy. Knowing I make him happy, that I please him; that calms something in me. I don’t know if I’m explaining that properly. But it—” I put my hand to my chest “—it soothes me.”

He rubbed my back and kissed the side of my head. When he spoke, his voice was rough. “You explained it perfectly.”

“What about you? Why do you want this?”

“Same reasons as you. It calms something in me too. I’ve had relationships with men closer to my own age, but I never found them as gratifying... I’ve always liked younger men. Twinks, small; the type to play into the boy-role. Who need to be looked after, cared for. I want to be that for them.” He swallowed hard and sighed. “I locked this part of myself away for a long time, getting no more than an infrequent fix, but then the other night with you... well, I don’t want to deny myself that anymore. I know some people don’t understand, they think it’s weird or perverse.”

“It’s not perverse,” I said. “We’re both consenting adults, and it’s role play.”

“You are considerably younger than me. Some might consider there to be a power differential. You have to know you can leave at any time, end our agreement at any time. And you should probably have a safe word. If I’m doing something you’re not comfortable with, you say the word and I’ll stop.”

“A safe word?” I chuckled. “I’ve never had one of those before.”

“It’s a safety measure, for your own peace of mind.”

“Do I just pick one?”

“Well, yes.”

Hmm. I thought for a second. “What about ‘harder, daddy’?”

He paused. “Uh no.”

“What about ‘yes please, daddy, just like that’?”

“No. Fitch,” he said, using his daddy tone. “You must be serious.”

“Pick one for me, daddy,” I said, looking up at him.

He hummed, low in the back of his throat. “Flamingo.”

I chuckled and put my head back against his neck. “Perfect.” Then I thought of something. “When do I call you daddy? Only when you’re fucking me?”

He did that rumbly hum sound again. “Whenever you feel the need. Whenever you need me to be your daddy. Though probably not in public.”

I smiled against his neck. “You like it when I call you daddy,” I said. “And I like it when you call me boy. Especially when you’re fucking me.”

He made that low, humming rumble noise that curled warmth through my belly.

---