Page 26 of Perilous Healing

“You don’t have to do that.” Panic claws at my throat. They want explanations. Conversation I’ve been dodging for the last week.

“Listen, Bianca, you’ve been avoiding us while you worked on your house. Now it’s done, so we’re coming. Love you, okay? Bye!” Reyna hangs up the phone, and I stare down at it slowly, trying to figure out why I wanted girlfriends. Isn’t this why I avoided having them? So I didn’t have to partake in idle conversations about life things I’d rather not discuss?

And over cleaning?

My two least favorite things.

I take a deep breath and survey the dust-covered living room. My replacement couch is currently covered in plastic sheeting, my rug protected by painter’s cloth.

I guess help wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

And I am trying to be more open, so maybe this won’t be so bad?

After pulling up the cloth on the floor, cleaning paint brushes and rollers, and taking the paint cans to the garage, the doorbell rings.

I laugh to myself as I head over and pull open the door. Eliza, Reyna, and Andie are standing on the other side, dressed to clean, wide smiles on their faces.

“For you, dear friend,” Reyna offers me a to-go coffee cup.

“Thank you.”

“It’s the least we could do since Reyna is forcing conversation.” Andie winks and steps inside. “Whoa, this looks amazing. Can barely tell that the ceiling caved in last week.”

“Silas did good work.”

“And speaking of Silas,” Reyna starts, setting her purse down.

“We’re just going to jump right in, aren’t we?” I ask.

“We are. Because I didn’t get the full story out of Michael. He gave me a brief overview after I called him out for being grouchy.”

I wince. “Sorry. I know I deceived you guys. That’s not even the half of it. I brought a threat straight to your door.”

“Please.” Eliza shakes her head. “You didn’t do that. You’re not responsible for the actions of others, Bianca.”

“I still lied.”

“You misled,” Andie replies. “But we forgive you for it.”

Even though I know I should be cleaning, I take a seat on the plastic-covered couch. The others do the same. Andie and Reyna both sit on the couch alongside me, while Eliza sits on the ottoman directly in front.

“My father was a cruel man,” I tell them. “But I didn’t see him as one until the day he killed my mother. Up until my seventeenth birthday, I thought he was the greatest man in the world.” I shake my head. “Talk about a rude awakening.” Because it makes me uncomfortable to be vulnerable, I offer a soft laugh. “I was way wrong about all of it. Anyway. He was a murderer, and I was afraid, so I ran to the only other person I thought could protect me.” This is the part that I kept from everyone else, including Silas. The moment I never wanted to share but feel as though I should. “I was engaged to the son of a friend of my father’s. Looking back, I should have known. But I didn’t think my father was anything more than a murderer. I never would have thought he was behind—well—the drugs, guns…any of it.”

“And how could you?” Reyna asks, reaching forward to rest her hand on my leg. “You couldn’t have known, Bianca.”

“I should have though. Anyway, I went to Yarrow in hopes that he could help me get away. I was terrified. He tried to force himself on me that night, and when I refused, he slapped me.” I can still feel the sting of the hit even after all these years.

Eliza gasps.

Andie looks ready to hunt him down.

Reyna is furious.

“I kneed him in the groin, then took off, stealing all the money I could find. I paid someone to erase who I was, and I lived on my own until my eighteenth birthday when I joined the Army. It was by accident that I went in the recruiting office at all, to be honest. I thought I was being followed, and it was the closest building to me. I walked in, and when I walked out I knew my father would never be able to touch me again.”

“Oh, Bianca.” Eliza reaches forward and squeezes my hand. “I’m so sorry.”

I shrug, doing what I can to keep myself together. “I buried that part of me until my father sent someone after me. They grabbed me from base overseas and brought me to Cambodia to help my father. He was in rough shape when I arrived, but I could have saved him. When he started coding, though, I just put my hands up and stepped back. I watched him die.” A tear slips from my cheek now. “I watched him die on that table, and I felt no guilt over it.”

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