Page 27 of Perilous Healing

“He’d murdered your mother,” Andie tells me. “Destroyed your life and countless others.”

“It wasn’t even until then that I knew the true scope of who he was. I’d done my research on him after I ran, watching to see if he’d be pinned for my mother’s murder, but what I found was minimal compared to what I learned that day.” I try to recall what it felt like to stand there and watch the man who raised me die.

Try to recall if I felt any kind of remorse. But in that moment, I didn’t. And doesn’t that make me a bit of a monster, too?

“They were going to kill me for his death,” I tell them. “But they’d needed River’s permission to do so.”

“And then Silas came in,” Reyna says.

I laugh and wipe a tear away. “And then Silas came in. He looked like an animal,” I recall. “His hair wild, his chest bare and streaked with crusted blood, injuries, and dirt. His bare feet were bleeding, I even remember the trail of blood as he came into the room. He had to wrap his feet in gauze before we left that room so they couldn’t see which direction we went.”

“Silas as a wild animal,” Reyna says. “I can see it.”

The door opens, and Margot bursts in. “I came as soon as I could. Matty is watching the front desk. What did I miss?” She sets her bag down.

“Bianca has a psychotic father who died due to a medical complication, she was engaged to a man whose butt she kicked when he attacked her, and Silas looked like a wild animal when he came in to rescue her,” Andie says.

I laugh, enjoying the light tone she uses. It lessens a bit of my own weight. “When you say it like that.”

“I have a way with words,” Andie replies with a shrug.

“So, Silas, wild animal.” Margot sits beside Eliza on the ottoman. “What happened next?”

“We spent a month together in that jungle. I’d been fighting to keep the infection in two of his injuries localized, but they were stab wounds I later found out were reopened every single day over the course of his captivity. The skin was tattered, and it was a constant struggle to keep him standing. But he was so positive. So happy.”

“Silas? Happy? Positive?” Andie looks around the room. “Like, am I the only one who thinks he can be a bit of a grump sometimes?”

I know she’s trying to lighten the mood, but comparing him then to who he is now hurts. Because while I recognize losing his sister took a toll, I can’t help but feel like I broke him first. “He wasn’t like that then,” I say. “His mood is the only thing that kept me going when I wanted to just give up. He made me a mud cake for my birthday.”

“Really?” Reyna presses a hand to her heart.

“That’s so sweet!” Margot exclaims.

“It was. I fell in love with him while we were out there, barely surviving. It was the best birthday I’d had since before my mother died. He made it special by just listening and being there.”

“Bianca, that is adorable,” Andie says.

“It was,” I admit. “Until it wasn’t. Not too long after that, we were tracked down by men sent by my uncle, and he found out who I was. I’ll never forget the way he looked at me, with such disgust that I could feel the hatred in it. We were rescued by his cousins. They have a company that tracks down lost people, and his sister sent them after us. After we were brought back stateside, we went our separate ways. Both of us needed to return to our command so we could be debriefed.”

“And you never saw him again?”

I shake my head at Margot’s question. “Not until Lance called and asked for my help after Michael was missing. He knew we’d been friends and that I had a medical background, but I had no idea he knew Silas, too, or that he was the one helping track him through the swamps.”

“Oh, man.” Andie shakes her head. “That’s a lot.”

“He still hates me,” I tell them.

“No, he doesn’t,” Eliza replies. “A man who hates you wouldn’t do that.” She points to the ceiling.

“I lied to him.”

“You did, to all of us,” Andie agrees. “But I have to agree with Eliza on this one, a man doesn’t offer to patch a hole in the ceiling when he hates you.”

“I wouldn’t even say he’s trying to keep his distance,” Reyna says. “Maybe he’s just trying to find his footing. You guys do work together now, and with a history like that—” She whistles. “It takes a lot of processing.”

“Did anything happen between you two out there?” Andie asks.

“He kissed me,” I admit. “We were watching the rain fall and talking about our lives before, and we just sort of looked at each other and he leaned in. But it was just a kiss. And the next day, everything fell apart.”

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