Page 175 of Vicious Addictions

She’s just Mina.

The woman I obsess about twenty-four-seven and can never have.

“Hand me another journal! Remus! Rolo! Give me the next journal in the pile!” I shout out, eager to read each passage as fast as I can. Especially now that it’s getting good.

April 4th Kent, England.

Most made men will tell you that fear is a trick of the mind.

That real men…men that live our kind of lives, don’t fear anything at all.

I can count on one hand the times I was afraid.

When I saw my stepfather get shot.

When his killer then kidnapped me just to cage my mother and murder father.

When my mother was about to give birth to Marcello.

When Marcello was born so tiny, I thought he would break in my arms.

And now…when Pavlin kidnapped the woman I love.

Yes, I’ve known fear, but never to this extent.

The twins and I found common ground today.

All three of us became murderous with the idea of anyone hurting her.

It was with their help that I was able to save my Mina. My love.

But I did it the wrong way.

I should have kept Pavlin alive. I would have taken my sweet time carving out his face.

But he had a gun to her head.

I couldn’t take that risk. So I killed him fast just to end my misery and have her back in my arms again.

And as I write this entry, it’s not here that I want to be.

In my room, locked away, writing down all my desires when Mina is just a few halls away from me.

The fucker hurt her.

I need to be with her.

I need to hold her in my arms.

I need to breathe her scent.

I need to feel her heartbeat.

I need…I need…I need…

Fuck this.

April 10th Kent, England.

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