Page 85 of Vicious Addictions

“Last night,” he starts, his voice gruff and low, “was the worst night of my life, which is funny if it wasn’t so goddamn pathetic. You see, I’ve been living in constant agony all these months, needing to be close to you and yet forcing myself not to. Because I knew if I was given even the slightest chance to kiss you again, to be with you like I want to, I would do it without hesitation. I really thought the misery and torment that I was under couldn’t get any worse. And then it did. It got so fucking worse.”

Jude grabs my hands and pulls me away from the door, guiding me back to my bed and sitting me on his lap. With one hand holding onto my waist, he skitters his hand into my hair until it’s cupping my cheek.

“When that fucker took you, I thought I was losing my mind. Just thinking of what he could be doing to you… his hands on you… hurting you. I had to kill the fucker fast since I was too afraid of what I might do to him with you watching. I didn’t want you to think I was a monster.”

“I could never think that,” I tell him.

It’s all true.

He could have set Pavlin aflame and danced around his burning carcass, and I would still think Jude to be the most decent man who ever entered my life.

“I’m not so sure that I am anymore,” he says, his penetrating gaze silencing all my words. He runs his thumb lightly on my bruised, purple cheek, moving to my split bottom lip after, groaning when I flinch with a wince. His eyes then track the necklace around my neck, pulling at it until the chessboard pendant lies flat at the center of his hand.

“I thought I was about to burn the whole of England if I didn’t find you in time. I’d fucking burn the entire world for you, Mina.”

My chest aches at his words, but it is the truth behind them, swimming in his eyes, that really takes my breath away.

“Is that why you’re here? To ease whatever misplaced guilt you’re feeling over the thoughts that crossed your mind while I was kidnapped?” I ask, wanting to know the true reason behind his visit.

“No.” He shakes his head. “I can live with the guilt. What I can’t live with anymore is not showing you how I truly feel.”

With those words, he leans in and presses a soft kiss on my lips, ever so delicate to avoid my cuts. I wrap my arms around him and let him kiss me, craving him just as fiercely as he seems to crave me after such a traumatic experience. After my lips are good and swollen from Jude’s kiss, he pulls his mouth off mine to pepper sweet kisses on my chin, neck, and shoulder. I watch breathlessly as he helps me out of my tank top so he can use that same tantalizing mouth on my bare breast. I squirm on his lap when he starts sucking a nipple into his mouth, grazing it with his teeth. I feel his bulge harden beneath me, my stomach coiling with the familiar sensation of want and desire.

I call out his name, relinquishing my nipple from his mouth with a loud pop before looking up at me.

I don’t have to say a word as it’s all there in my eyes.

What I need.

What I want.

What I deserve after years of waiting for him.

Jude lifts us off the bed to place me on top of it.

“Are you sure?” he asks, his lids turning half-mast.

“Yes.”

That’s all he needs to hear to lift us off the bed and lay me sprawled on top of it. Ever so gently, he helps me take off my pajama bottoms, followed by my panties, leaving me completely naked on the bed, save for the cherished gold necklace he gave me for my birthday. My chest heaves up and down as I watch him take a step back to appreciate his view.

His eyes smolder as the bulge in his pants thickens.

“Now you,” I demand, longing to see all of him in his perception.

Jude pulls his white t-shirt over his head and throws it to the ground, leaving me to lick my lips at the hard ridges of his abs and mouthwatering physique. He then pulls something out of his pocket and places it on my nightstand, but I don’t dare see what it is, too enthralled by the prospect of him pulling down his gray sweatpants. However, when he does pull them down, my heart shoots up to my throat and stays there. He grabs his nine-inch cock in his hand and gives it two languid strokes before placing his knee on the bed and inching closer to me.

Excitement mixed with a tinge of fear that his cock might split me open begins to muddle my thoughts, and it takes me a second to realize that he is kissing every inch of my bruise-covered body. I don’t say a word as he continues to worship at my altar by placing one tender kiss after another.

I wasn’t expecting this.

Yes, I must have imagined Jude making love to me a million times, but I never thought it would be this sweet, especially not after our little rendezvous at the hotel. I thought it was going to be hot, fast, and dirty.

Is he taking his time because he thinks I’m broken?

Or because he knows I’ve never done this before?

Knowing Jude, it must be a little of both.

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