Page 38 of Vicious Addictions

I don’t even realize we’ve left London until the iron gates of Victor’s manor in Kent loom in front of us.

“What are we doing here?”

Felix doesn’t answer right away. He pulls through the gates, following the winding driveway until we reach the manor’s entrance. Only then does he shift the gear into park and turn to face me.

“I think it’s best that you stay here for the night.”

I shake my head.

“Take me back into the city. I have classes in the morning.”

“You can take a day off.”

“I’m fine.”

Felix exhales through his nose, gripping the wheel, having lost all patience with me and the fucking night we’ve had.

“No, you’re not. That was your first kill. And unless you’re a psychopath like Rolo, that shit leaves a mark.” He glances at me. “You need a day to get your head on straight.”

“I said I’m fine.”

Felix doesn’t argue. He just gets out of the car, walks around to my side, and opens the door. “Get out.”

I stay put.

“Felix—”

“Get out.” His voice is quieter this time, but there’s no room for defiance. “You think you’re fine, but I’m telling you from experience that you’re not. The next time you use your gun, no one’s going to give you a chance to process this shit. This is the only time you’ll get it. Take it.”

I want to tell him to go to hell.

That I don’t need his pity.

But then I blink, and I see her again.

The way she dropped like a ragdoll from the first story to the floor.

The blood seeping through the cement cracks.

How her lifeless eyes will always haunt me.

Felix must see my train of thought on my face, too.

“You never forget your first. The others… they’ll end up blending together. But your first kill… that one stays with you forever.”

Having no strength to fight him on this, I get out of the car.

Satisfied with my decisions, he offers me a curt nod and gets back in the car.

I just stand there with my hands balled into fists, watching his taillights disappear down the road before I head toward the door.

The manor is quiet, the first hints of dawn creeping through the massive windows as I walk inside. One of the maids is already moving about, setting fresh-cut flowers on the tables in the great hall. She’s about to say something to me, but when she sees the crazed look in my eyes, she instinctively steps aside, allowing me to go up to my room uninterrupted.

The second the door shuts, I strip off everything and quickly make my way into the shower. The water is scalding, but I don’t flinch. Instead, I lose time just watching the water swirl down the drain, vanishing into nothing.

I knew this day was coming. I knew that I’d have to use my gun eventually. Killing is part of the job description. I just never imagined that the first person I’d ever kill would be… a woman.

Once my fingers start to prune, I get out of the shower, put on sweatpants, and slide into bed.

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