Page 173 of Vicious Addictions

The Brits sure do things differently.

While back home, we pledge the omertà by drawing blood on our Patron Saint, the Firm’s only stipulation is that not a single drop of Mina’s blood be spilled to the floor.

Thank God for Remus and Role holding me back when Mina was fighting tooth and nail for her birthright, or I would have made things bad for her.

I would have killed those six fuckers that tried to touch a hair on my girl’s head and then picked her up, flung her over my shoulder, and locked her in my bedroom so I could give her a real birthday present.

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

I’m so fucked.

What the fuck do I do now?

August 18th Kent, England.

I made a decision.

One that will probably entail losing my best friend.

Today, as I walked through the garden, it dawned on me that Mina wouldn’t have gone through the process of getting inducted if she didn’t want to sit on her father’s throne one day.

She could have died last night.

Died.

Which means that her heart is all in on The Firm.

Which also means that me and her…could never be.

Sooner or later, I’ll have to go home.

My life is in Chicago.

Hers is here.

It would just be cruel to continue down this road.

She can never be mine.

Not really.

And if this is only a fling, then I don’t want it.

Because I know deep down in my heart that if we somehow let this pull between us win…if we give into our desires…I’ll end up falling in love with her.

No.

I won’t lie on these pages. These pages are fucking sacred.

The truth is that I’ve been falling in love with Mina for years now.

I love her more than I think a man can possibly love a woman.

So if this is only ever going to be a fling with no real endgame, I’d rather let my heart ache now than have it completely shattered later.

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