Page 13 of Vicious Addictions

It breaks my heart that she is so disappointed in me, especially considering that she was the one who brought us to this point.

From the very beginning, my mother was the one who sowed the seed of what it meant to be Romano. Perhaps if she had lied to me—if she had shared the harsh realities and ugliness of life as a made man early on—I might not have romanticized it the way I did.

But she didn’t.

She talked about family, honor, and duty.

Values written in ink beneath my skin and that I will always live by—made man or not.

Maybe one day, she will see that this was never a choice for me—but my destiny.

Maybe then she’ll understand.

Maybe then…we will stop wasting precious time being hateful to each other.

Chapter 2

Jude

Nineteen Years Old

I take a deep breath and lean back on the grass, gazing up at the endless stretch of sky. It’s not the same blue fabric that hovers over the people I love, but for now, I let myself believe that it is.

Out here in Kent, far from the city’s glow and towering skyscrapers, it’s easy to pretend.

Even the heavy clouds rolling in, thick with the promise of rain, don’t bother me. If anything, the approaching storm feels fitting—an echo of the emotions swirling inside me. I never really thought about how homesick I’d be when I decided to go against my parents’ wishes and come here.

But here I am, sitting on the damp grass as the first drops of rain kiss my cheeks, wondering where it all went wrong.

It doesn’t help that I feel like I’m living a double life.

By day, I’m just another university student, blending in with the crowd, attending lectures, and taking notes like any other business major.

But when night falls, everything changes. That’s when I shadow Crane’s capos, learning the ins and outs of his organization. For now, it’s grunt work—making sure gun shipments arrive on time, collecting earnings from his gambling enterprises, nothing too flashy. Not that I expected Crane to throw me straight into the deep end. I have to earn my stripes first, which means starting at the bottom.

I get it, and I accept it.

But no matter how eager I am to learn, my thoughts drift back to my family in the quiet moments—the dead hours. I hate being away from them. Especially my brothers and sisters. FaceTiming and phone calls help, but they’re not the same. I knew coming here was the right choice for my future, but that doesn’t make it any easier. Chicago is in my bones… it’s in my blood. No matter how lively London’s nightlife is or how much culture this city offers, it’s not home.

It will never be home.

I guess it’s true what they say—you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.

Damn.

I sound like a fucking emo kid.

Snap out of it, Jude.

You’ve got to find something to do in your spare time before you go insane.

That’s easier said than done, though.

Crane won’t give me any work on the weekends. He says I need time to process everything I’ve learned. It’s not like this is a nine-to-five job, but I guess he doesn’t want to throw more at me than he thinks I can handle.

That’s fine.

I can be patient.

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