Page 179 of Deviant

How could she leave us in such a way?

Was she unhappy in her marriage? Is that why?

Was it out of greed, as Harper suggested? Boredom? What?

What could possibly justify a mother choosing certain death over watching her daughter grow up? These thoughts plague my mind, and no matter what plausible excuse I come up with, none can justify leaving a child motherless.

The love I have for the memory of a woman who never truly existed feels like an albatross around my neck, weighing me down, and pulling me under.

Maybe I could have forgiven her for choosingThe Scourgeover her family.

Maybe I could have found it in my heart to forgive such apathetic cruelty.

But if it hadn’t been for that one choice she made all those years ago, then I wouldn’t have grown up with such a debilitating fear of abandonment… and maybe… just maybe… Nora would still be alive today.

And if that had been the case, then I wouldn’t have felt the need to follow in her footsteps by willingly volunteering forThe Scourge.But that would also mean that Elias and I would have never become who we are to each other.

My head feels like it weighs a ton with all these thoughts drilling holes in my brain. Having had enough of staring at the name of a total stranger, I decide to return downstairs back to my room before Elias realizes I’m not there.

Just as I start to turn to head toward the door, a flash of white catches my eye through a nearby window. It’s fleeting, almost like a trick of the light, and before I can even process it, it vanishes.

“Great. Now I’m seeing things.” I let out a sigh, since apparently learning that my mother is still alive and well, and doesn’t give two shits about her family, has me hallucinating.

But when the glimmer reappears, more persistent this time, I realize it’s not my mind playing tricks on me at all. With my curiosity piqued, I make my way to the window, peering out to get a better look at the source of the mysterious flash. However, once I finally reach the glass, my pulse quickens as I catch sight of none other than Mackenzie sprinting down the yard toward the gate. Though I can’t see her face from this angle on the second floor, an unsettling feeling creeps in.

Is she making a run for it?

Is she trying to escape?

The questions swirl in my mind, and an undercurrent of suspicion gnaws at me, making the air around me feel chargedwith apprehension. I stay rooted to my spot, watching as she approaches the iron gate, but instead of trying to open it, or even climb over it, she just stands there in the dark, completely immovable, just staring at the foreboding forest outside the iron gate’s bars.

Maybe she remembered how Lucas got electrocuted when he tried to climb over it and is just taking her time to figure out another way to overcome that obstacle.

But when she turns around after five minutes and makes a run for it back to the mansion without so much as trying anything, my suspicions grow even further.

Just what are you up to, Mackenzie?

What the hell are you up to?

“Are you sure it was Mackenzie?” Harper interrogates me the next day, after I’ve shared with everyone what I saw last night, much to Elias’s displeasure.

“I’m positive. It was her. It was definitely Mackenzie.”

Harper thinks long and hard on the matter and comes up just as empty-handed as I am.

“You know what? I don’t even want to know. I think I would rather spend the last day before the games on something other than trying to figure out the warped mind of Mackenzie Davenport.”

“I second that motion,” Andy agrees, gaining a kiss from his girlfriend.

“Don’t look at me. You lost all your brownie points when you went rogue last night,” Elias grumbles, still pissed that I sneaked out of bed to go to the library without telling him.

“I’d ask Abbie to brainstorm with me, but she’s come down with a cold and is stuck in bed all day.”

“You know what? A day in bed doesn’t seem like a bad way to spend the day. What do you say, Andy? You game?”

“Like I need to be told twice. See you guys at dinner. Me and my girl have a full day ahead.” He laughs, placing his arm over Harper’s shoulders and leading her back upstairs.

Now that our friends have left, I turn to Elias and start batting my eyelashes at him. It usually works for Harper when she’s trying to persuade Andy to do her bidding, so I figure I’d try it on Elias. But unfortunately for me, he’s having none of it.

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