Page 80 of Deviant

What if Nora had gone to The Scourge and ended up winning?

Could Emily have gotten the help she needed from the outside world and prolonged her quality of life?

Did I do this?

Did I speed up her death?

The answer to all those questions lies heavy on my heart.

Not only do I have Nora’s blood in my hands, but I was an instrumental force in bringing Emily’s death earlier on, too.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I whisper, shame, guilt, and anger pulling at me in every direction.

It’s only when I leave her bedroom that I focus on the only feeling that could actually do some good around here—anger.

Angry at myself and at the two men in the living room, I walk down the corridor with a new purpose.

“Babe, I…,” Aidan starts as soon as I step into the room, but I hold out my hand, raising a finger to signal him to keep his mouth shut if he knows what’s good for him.

“I don’t even know where to start with you two. All I know is that Nora would have been ashamed of both of you. Do you hear me? Both of you. Instead of making your mother’s last days on this earth something she could look forward to, you two decided that bickering and fighting with each other was a more worthy use of your time. Shame on you. Shame on both of you.”

I try to hide my surprise when Elias’s dark blue eyes lower to the floor, looking genuinely ashamed of his actions.

On the other hand, Aidan doesn’t look bothered by my reprimand one bit.

“That’s easier said than done, babe. If you had to live under the same roof with someone who could save your life and refused to do so, then I’m sure you’d find plenty to argue about.”

“What does that have to do with your mother?” I sneer, frustrated that his main concern revolves around his own well-being rather than his loving parent.

Was he always this selfish, and I just didn’t see it? Or did I just pretend I didn’t, for Nora’s sake?

“Are you kidding me right now?” Aidan rebukes insulted. “It has everything to do with it. Or do you honestly believe my brother could handle taking care of our mother on his own if I’m selected for the Harvest Dozen next week?”

I turn to face Elias, his indigo eyes staring daggers at his brother.

“Not only do I believe he could, but I know he wants to,” I say steadfastly while staring directly at Elias. His gaze flicks from his brother’s onto mine in confusion. “You forget that I’ve been coming to this house for most of my life. I’ve seen how well Elias treats Emily. All the sacrifices he’s made for this family. He’s a good son. A caring son. He always has been.”

“Excuse me? Are you fucking serious right now?” Aidan protests behind me as if I’d hit my head and lost my mind.

“I am.” I nod at a perplexed Elias before turning my attention back to Aidan. “I’m dead serious. Elias might have his flaws, but name one person in this town that doesn’t? Regardless of that, he is caring and loving to Emily. That should be enough to tranquil your mind should you get chosen.”

“ShouldI get chosen?” Aidan’s eyes almost pop out of their sockets. “Are you honestly assuming that I will? Is my own fucking girlfriend secretly hoping that I’m selected for the Harvest-fucking-Dozen? Am I hearing you right?”

“That’s not what I said.” I frown when his temper tantrum has him twisting up my words.

“Well, that’s what I fucking heard,” he grunts, pulling at his long, blond hair in exasperation. “You know what? I can’t be here right now. Just looking at the both of you… like you’re in cahoots or something… fuck. I can’t even stand the sight of either one of you right now,” Aidan hollers, balls of spit flying in every direction.

I don’t make a move to stop him as he races out the door, getting behind the wheel of his mom’s car to go god-knows-where. Instead, I just look around at the mayhem the boys did to the living room and start picking up the pieces, unwilling to leave this mess for Emily to find in the morning.

“Leave it. I’ll take care of it.”

“It’s fine. I can help,” I reply.

“I said… leave it.”

I drop the shards of glass from the broken vase back to the floor just to glower at him.

Is he so proud to refuse my help even now?

---