Page 148 of By His Play

I’m so far gone for him that only a few swipes of that talented tongue and I freefall into my first all-consuming release of the night.

And what a fucking night it is.

35

EFFIE

Last night was…out-of-this-world amazing.

The things that man can do to my body…well…they should be illegal, I swear.

I wake with my body aching in places I wasn’t aware could ache, but nowhere hurts more than my heart.

Today is the day I leave St. Louis.

Today is the day that our fake engagement ends.

Today is the day real life returns.

Yesterday, there was a part of me that thought I was ready.

Right now, I realize that was a lie.

I’m nowhere close to being ready.

Squeezing my eyes closed tighter, I will myself to go back to sleep. To shut it all out and hope today never actually comes.

It’s too late, though.

It’s already here.

With a pained sigh, I admit defeat and turn over. Stretching my hand out, I search for Kieran, needing to extend our connection for just a few more moments.

Unsurprisingly, I come up empty.

The bed beside me is empty and cold. He hasn’t been here for a while.

Reluctantly, I rip my eyes open and scan the room.

It’s empty, although there are harsh reminders of what happened last night everywhere I look.

Our clothes are in piles on the carpet. The cart with the leftover dessert is haphazardly shoved from the bedside. Clutching the sheets to my chest, I sit up. The sight of the ties that bound me to the bed last night is the final straw, and I’m out of bed and running toward the bathroom faster than my legs want to move.

My knees hit the floor in front of the toilet a beat before I vomit.

“Fuck,” I hiss once I’m confident I’m done and fall back on my ass.

The tiles beneath me might be warm, but they’re not very forgiving, and I only allow myself a minute or two to wallow there before forcing myself back to my feet.

The last thing I need is for Kieran to find me in this state.

I’ve been a broken mess since he turned up here. All he’s done is try to make everything better, more manageable. The last thing he needs today is for me to fall apart again.

He’s excited to return home. To see his brothers and his friends.

After everything he’s done for me, he deserves that. He deserves for me to be strong.

I brush my teeth, finger-combing my hair and wrangling it into a messy bun. We had a bath in the ginormous tub at some point last night, and not only did I pass out with wet hair, but I’m pretty sure he fucked me again beforehand.

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