Page 130 of By His Play

I’ve been trying not to think about it, because I know I’ve set myself up for a fall here.

The idea that we could sleep together and have a little fun for four days before returning to our lives was a dream.

A dream I should have known would never work.

With a sigh, I drop my ass to the end of my bed.

Memories of everything I’ve experienced in the past few days makes my body heat.

I never in a million years would have thought I’d enjoy the things he’s done to me.

Choked me. Tied me up. Withheld orgasms one moment and then forced me to have so many I could barely think straight. He’s had his fingers in my ass, for fuck’s sake. Something I had no intention of experimenting with. But damn, the release that dragged out of me was so freaking worth it.

I’ve certainly learned a few things.

And tonight…well, I can only imagine the things he has planned.

The water cuts off, and I jump from the bed, knowing that he’s going to look in on me soon.

I’m supposed to be packing to return to Chicago tomorrow. I don’t know how I feel about it.

There’s a part of me that’s ready to get back to normality.

But there is still a huge part that wants to be here. I love the comfort of Grams’ home. I love being surrounded by her things. Leaving it all behind is going to kill me.

I know she’ll be with me no matter where I am, but it won’t be the same.

Glancing at my suitcase on the middle of the bed, I return to what I should be doing.

Kieran is buzzing to get home. I wish I could feel some of it.

But seeing his excitement is a harsh reminder that he’ll be able to walk away from this thing between us as soon as we get back.

That’s the thing about men. Sex is an act. An epic one, but just an act all the same.

I know there are women out there who are able to view it that way, but I’m learning fast that I’m not one of them.

I wanted to be.

Hell, maybe if I weren’t so broken, I’d have been able to keep my head.

I never should have agreed to this four-day fuck fest.

I squeeze my eyes closed as regret mixes with pain.

Footsteps moving closer has me dragging my head up and rolling my shoulders back.

Kieran…none of this is his fault. He promised to look after me, to find a way to help me. That’s all he’s done.

His shadow appears first, and I attempt to swallow down the lump in my throat and school my features.

“Hey,” he says, magically forcing every single previous thought from my head the instant he reveals himself.

He stands there in my doorway in nothing but a towel, which is wrapped low on his hips.

My eyes drop to his body, watching as water droplets run over his skin.

Lifting his hand, he combs his fingers through his wet hair, making the muscles in his chest and stomach ripple and pull in the most delicious way.

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