Page 99 of By His Play

Maybe I should have left a note or knocked to tell her I was going for a run.

Shaking my head, I force myself to slam the front door so she stands a chance of realizing I’ve left.

However, as I jog down the driveway, I question that decision.

What if she thinks I’ve left? Not just for a run, but for good?

“Get a fucking grip, Callahan,” I mutter to myself before taking off.

I push myself as hard as I can in some kind of fucked-up punishment for last night.

What the fuck was I thinking kissing her?

I should have known that it was a bad idea.

Did I really think she’d wake up this morning, turn to me and everything would be okay?

I’m such a fucking moron.

A moron who is now hard as fuck for his best friend.

Jesus, she was incredible.

The way she accepted everything...how her insecurities fell away and she embraced the incredibly sexy woman I’ve always known her to be.

She was perfect, and something tells me that she has no idea.

Being with her was so easy, but not in a boring kind of way.

I’m so used to fucking strangers that I wasn’t expecting the connection.

One look at her and I knew what she wanted, what she needed...and fuck did it bring me to my knees when I realized it was what I needed as well.

Everyone has been telling you for years that she’s your perfect woman…

Shaking that thought from my head, I keep running.

By the time I get to the top of the hill, sweat runs down the side of my face and my hoodie sticks to my back.

The sun is now high in the sky and beating down on me. I love it just as much as I hate it.

Mornings like these bring hope.

I just wish Effie could feel it.

Something tells me that she’s currently locked inside her dark bedroom, refusing to feel any kind of hope.

I bring myself to a stop and press my palm against my pounding heart as my chest tightens.

“Fuck,” I pant, tipping my face toward the sun and sucking in deep lungfuls of air.

Spotting a small park on the other side of the road, I cross over and walk through the gates.

Dropping my ass onto a bench, I stare ahead of me as my brain runs at a mile a minute.

People come and go, but I don’t see any of them as I relive last night and this morning over and over in my head.

What I wouldn’t give to have a do-over.

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