Page 98 of By His Play

A couple of minutes later, pancakes, bacon, and eggs appear before me.

My stomach turns over and I close my eyes.

“Effie,” Kieran warns.

“I…I don’t think I can do this,” I blurt before slamming the mug down and fleeing down the hallway like my ass is on fire.

24

KIERAN

“Shit,” I hiss as the sound of her retreating footsteps fills the air before her bedroom door slams hard enough to shake the entire house. “Fuuuuck.”

My kneejerk reaction is to jump and run after her. But no sooner am I on my feet, do I second-guess myself.

She doesn’t want me right now. That realization hurts. But not as much as knowing that I’m the reason.

Last night, I…

Last night, I clearly fucked up.

I fall back on the stool and stare down at my breakfast.

If I weren’t so fucking confused and lost, I’d be impressed. I even made waffles.

I thought it was time to break free from the cinnamon buns.

As hard as it is to accept, Grams is at peace now, and it’s time to help Effie move on so she can return to her life.

Her team misses her in Chicago.

I miss her.

I know she feels at home here, but it’s not her home. It’s Grams’.

Her life is in Chicago. It’s where she needs to be.

She’s going to drown if she stays here. And I refuse to let that happen.

Ignoring my instincts to go after her, I force myself to eat some of my breakfast before I finally push the plate away.

Just like earlier, my footsteps slow as I get to her door, but I don’t stop. I can’t. If I hear her crying inside, it’ll shatter my resolve to give her a moment.

My fists curl at my sides. Walking away from her feels wrong.

So wrong.

But getting close was also wrong.

I’ll stand by my decision. In the moment, it helped.

And fuck, it was everything I didn’t know I was missing in my life.

Combing my fingers through my hair, I haul my ass to the guest room, stuff my feet into my sneakers, and drag a hoodie over my head.

If I can’t be with her, then I need to move.

Standing at the front door with my muscles screaming for me to do something, I debate how to leave.

---