Page 188 of By His Play

After pulling on a clean pair of yoga pants and a sports bra, I force myself to stand in front of the sink to brush my teeth.

“Jesus Christ,” I gasp as I take in my reflection.

I don’t stand a chance of covering all this up before I’m due at the office.

That won’t stop me from giving it a damn good go, though.

By the time I’ve completed my new morning routine and find myself back in the shower, I feel marginally better.

I focus on what I need to do today, on the meetings I have, and the phone calls I need to make. It’s easier to think about that than it is to replay everything that happened from the moment I stepped into my apartment last night.

With more makeup on than I’d usually wear to work, I grab my purse and head out, already knowing that today is going to be a nightmare.

Thankfully, not being close with my colleagues meant that I didn’t get much more than a few concerned stares during our morning team meeting. I kept it as short as I could, allowing me to retreat to my office a little under an hour after the meeting started.

I had loads more I needed to talk to my team about. There was so much I needed to be caught up on, but I didn’t have the bandwidth.

There’s always tomorrow.

Dropping into my chair, I wake my computer up and begin sifting through the seemingly endless number of emails that need my attention.

I get through three when my cell dings with a message.

Telling myself to ignore it, I open the next email and begin to read.

But my cell goes off again.

After reading the same line four times and not taking in a single word of it, I reach for my cell.

Deep down, I know it isn’t Kieran.

I hurt him last night when I sent him away.

It isn’t going to be a repeat of when he left St. Louis. He isn’t going to call and message me daily. He isn’t going to beg me to talk to him.

Instead, he’s going to punish me by severing all contact.

Knowing someone so well is as much a blessing as it is a curse.

Brax: So, Kieran knows you’re back then.

Brax: Would I be right to assume you didn’t get a chance to explain?

“Fucking hell,” I groan.

He continues to type as I try to figure out what to say.

Brax: Shall we move that drink to tonight? I can pick you up from work. Dinner, maybe?

I should say no. Going out with Kieran’s friend would be wrong.

But…isn’t he my friend, too?

And he’s willing to listen. I really need someone to do that right now.

Kieran is usually my sounding board.

Him or Grams.

---