Page 158 of By His Play

I could have a life anywhere.

I have money and zero attachments.

Kieran is my only person, and honestly, I don’t know if we’re ever going to be the same after the past few weeks.

Plus, he might live in Chicago, but it’s not like he’s there all that often, especially during the football season.

Brightness sears into my eyes, and I roll over, attempting to hide from it.

But no matter how long I lie there praying for darkness again, it never comes.

Instead, I’m left with nothing but the harsh light of day.

Prying my sore eyes open, I blink against the sunlight, cursing myself out for being so tragic last night that I couldn’t even muster the energy to shut the curtains.

With a groan, I flip onto my back and stare up at the ceiling.

If I thought a bad night’s sleep was going to make everything better, then I’d be sorely mistaken.

Everything hurts just as much as it did before, and it only gets worse when I glance at the empty spot beside me.

It might be standard to wake up alone with Kieran here, but I also know that I’m not going to find him baking in the kitchen, or coming in sweaty from a run.

Just like Grams, he’s gone.

Refusing to plummet into a dark world of grief and sadness, I force myself to get out of bed.

After brushing my teeth and splashing my face with cold water in the hope it’ll fix my red, puffy eyes, I make my way to the kitchen for coffee.

However, I stop myself before I turn on the machine.

New day.

New you.

New start.

Instead of immediately going for caffeine, I reach for a pouch of powdered greens that Kieran left here.

I make it just like I’ve seen him do before and then lift the bottle to my lips.

“Oh my god,” I complain after swallowing the first mouthful.No wonder Tate complains about Kingston forcing this on her.

My nose wrinkles and my top lip peels back as I stare down at the potent liquid.

So gross.

But despite wanting to pour it straight down the drain, I pull on my big girl panties and swallow down the rest as fast as I can.

No pain, no gain, right?

“Ugh. Gross,” I mutter, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

Feeling a little bit better about my attempt to improve my life, I continue to make my coffee.

That goes down a lot better, although it isn’t enough to fix anything.

Ignoring my aching chest and my sore eyes, I grab a notebook and a pen and find a blank page.

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