Page 46 of Riding Jamie

Once again,I've made a mess of things.

I slam my hands against the steering wheel, sobbing violently as I sit in the driveway. There's no way I can go inside like this, but I can't put this off forever.

The thought of explaining what happened to my parents makes me burst into a fresh wave of tears.

All of this is my fault. I'm impulsive and rash and I didn't give Jamie a chance to explain before I went off on him. He's not the reason our relationship fell apart.Iam.

I keep pushing Jamie away, and he hit the nail on the head as to why. I've never done anything to really stand up to my family about how they see Jamie, and it's been poisoning our future. My complacency has been slowly eating away at the foundation of the life Jamie and I were trying to build together, and I've done nothing but turn a blind eye to it.

I can't keep doing this. Everything was easier in high school, but this is real life. This is my future that I'm watching slip away.

I won't let it go without a fight.

I kill the engine, yank the keys from the transmission, and grab the papers in my fist. There's no use trying to wipe the tears from my face.

All I can do right now is try to clear this whole thing up. I'm going to get some real answers from my dad, the whole story from start to finish. I'm going to get him to change his mind about Jamie. I refuse to live my life without him, and I refuse to lose my family over it.

I don't bother to kick the snow off my shoes before heading inside, too keyed up to stop until I reach the kitchen. My mom turns around in surprise at the sound of my footsteps, her brows rising in shock when I slam the papers down on the table. I'm sure I look a mess, tears on my face and determination in my eyes, but I don't care.

“Where's Daddy?”

My mom hesitates, looking like she wants to ask a million questions, but she nods her head towards the back door.

“In the barn,” she says. “Want me to go get him for you?”

“Please.”

I've always appreciated my mom’s ability to know when to ask questions and when to let me explode. I got my temper from my dad, but I learned how to control it from her. I take as many deep, calming breaths as I can while I wait for her to come back. The papers are a mess, so I focus on smoothing them out and organizing them.

Two sets of footsteps sound up the steps, and the door swings open moments later.

“Oakley?” my dad asks, rushing in with a look of panic on his face. “Are you alright, kiddo?”

I stop him from pulling me into a hug, holding his arms as tight as I can with shaking hands.

“I need you to explain all this, Daddy.”

He glances back at my mom in confusion, but all she can offer him is a shrug. I take a step back and reach for the tissues on the table.

“What is all this, Oakley?” he asks slowly, looking between me and the papers.

“That's what I'm asking you.” I dab at the streaks of mascara under my eyes, smudging the tears away. “I need to know what happened between you and Greg Walker. I won't take no for an answer.”

The air in the room goes heavy and still, and the worry on my dad’s face is replaced with frustration. He grits his teeth, huffing out an exasperated sigh.

“This paperwork makes it look like he blackmailed you,” I say, shoving the stack closer to him. “I need to know what happened, Daddy.”

The bubbling anger shifts into confusion, then, and my dad finally actually looks at the papers. His brows knit together as he leafs through them, and he does the last thing I expect.

Helaughs.

“Oakley, where'd you get all of this?” he asks, baffled.

“Please just tell me what's going on, Daddy,” I insist. “Was Greg blackmailing you? Were you trying to sue him?”

“I—Jesus, no, I wasn't suing him,” he says, laughing awkwardly. “I haven't even seen these chats in years. How did you get into my old email? Are these your notes?”

I'm confused beyond words at the sudden change in his demeanor, glancing between him and my mom in shock. She shakes her head in exasperation, rolling her eyes as she heads back into the kitchen to finish with the dishes.

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