Page 29 of Riding Jamie

“Wait, Jamie, no!” I rush out, leaning closer in desperation. “That’s not what it looked like, I swear.”

He scoffs at me, an ugly sneer curling his lips. He’s refusing to make eye contact with me, and when I reach out for his good hand, he yanks it away like my touch burns. I feel kind of like I want to pass out and kind of like I want to throw up.

“Please, Jamie, I’m telling you the truth,” I insist. “He’s one of my colleagues, I’ve never thought of him like that, I swear. I shoved him off. He kissed me, I didn’t kiss him.”

That hurt curl to his lip doesn’t falter for a second, and the laugh he lets out is entirely unamused, pain obvious in the way his voice shakes.

“That sounds awfully familiar, doesn’t it?”

My confusion only lasts me half a second before my mouth drops open in pure shock.

It feels like my whole world is rocked onto its side because he’s so right that it’s painful to hear. This isexactlywhat happened with him and Savannah, and I didn’t even give him the chance to explain himself that I’m begging for right now. The panic coursing through me right now is probably exactly how Jamie felt that night, and I just walked away and left him to stew in it.

“Oh, my God,” I whisper in horror, my hand flying up to cover my mouth as I stare at him, my eyes blown wide and already brimming with tears. “Jamie, I—oh, my God, I’m so sorry. I’msosorry, I just—after hearing about the circuit, Icouldn’t think straight. I was so upset and I didn’t even listen.” I have to bite down on my lip to stop myself from completely breaking down again, and I clench my trembling hands in the sheets to stop myself from reaching out to him. I don’t deserve to touch him, not right now. “I shouldn’t have doubted you, Jamie. I’msorry.”

My voice breaks on the last word, and my tears finally fall, following the tracks that have yet to dry on my cheeks. He looks hesitant when he meets my eyes again, but I feel his hand shift, just close enough for our pinkies to brush. It drags another sob free from my throat, and my focus narrows to the heat of his skin on mine before he starts speaking again.

“I understand why you did, Oakley. It’s not easy to see something like that,” he says tightly. “It hurt more knowing that you didn’t trust me.”

I know it doesn’t change anything, but all I can think to do is shake my head. I never thought about things like that because, I realize, Idotrust Jamie. This whole time, I’ve been doubting myself. I’ve been doubting whether I’d ever be able to move on from him, even after seeing Savannah press herself somewhere she didn’t belong.

“I trust you,” I say, hoping he can hear just how sincere I am. “We were together for too long for me not to trust you, Jamie. I just…I made a mistake. I want to fix it. I want to fix us.”

That’s what this has all been about, really. Through all of it, I still want Jamie.

Chapter Fourteen

OAKLEY

The hesitancein his eyes shifts to something closer to hope, and it’s the most relieving thing I’ve ever seen. His hand moves to cover mine, and I shake as I twine our fingers together, too scared to blink in fear that this will all disappear.

“I fucked up worse,” he says raggedly. “I should have told you about the circuit as soon as I decided. I was scared about how you’d react, but I only wanted to go because I wanted to be able to support you. I’ve only ever wanted to build a life with you, Oakley.”

It’s probably not the most appropriate response, but all I can manage to do is laugh. It’s weak and watery, and I’m pretty sure I look a complete mess. He’s not any better, though he’s a bit more restrained about the tears slipping from his eyes.

“You’re shivering,” he says, rubbing his hand up my arm.

“It’s cold out,” I tell him, laughing softly.

It all feels so simple, so right, that it almost breaks my heart.

“Come here, baby,” he says.

There’s not a single part of me that wants to argue, every last bit of my brain desperate to be pressed up against him again.He’s always been the only person who can calm me down with a single hug, and all I can think about is feeling taken care of like that again.

“My jeans got wet from the snow,” I say, but it’s not a way of saying no.

They’re just words, just something to fill the silence as I strip my jeans down my legs because I’m scared if I let the quiet stretch on too long that it’ll shatter this whole illusion of everything being okay.

And then I’m sliding beneath the covers, my legs tangling with his, and everything is still alright. The only sound in the room is our breathing and the shift of the sheets, and Jamie’s skin is so warm against mine, and it finally feels like I’m home. He holds the sheets up so I can curl around him, careful to avoid the bruising on his left leg. Jamie has never been known for his patience, and he only gives me a few moments of trying to arrange myself carefully around him before he wraps his good arm beneath my waist and hauls me closer.

I gasp, my hand landing on his stomach, and he grins down at me smugly as he lets the blankets fall over our hips.

“You need to be careful,” I scold him.

“I’m not made of glass, sweetheart,” he argues.

And, yeah, I can very much feel that in the way his sculpted muscles shift under my hand and my leg, but now is not the time for me to get distracted by thoughts of the last time we were in a bed together.

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