Page 18 of Riding Jamie

Or at least not anytime soon.

My uncle hums thoughtfully, his face pinched in a picture of displeasure as he looks me over. He sets the papers down and leans his elbows on his desk before he speaks.

“Oakley,” he says, trailing off like he's uncomfortable, “normally I wouldn't bring this up here, but youaremy niece, and I love you to pieces. You’ve seemed off for a bit now. Is everything ok? If you're having issues at school or here, you can always talk to me.”

Part of me wants to break down and tell him everything, but I know I can't do that. If he'd asked me at home, I might have been able to explain some of it, but I can't say anything here. I can't tell him that I was stupid and went on a date with my coworker even though I knew it could go badly and ruin everything. I can't tell him that I'm still so hung up on Jamie that I can hardly think straight some days.

I want him to be proud of me. I don't want him to regret giving me this chance. I don't want to give credence to any of the office gossip about me not having earned my spot here.

So I just paste on a smile, hoping that it doesn't look as strained as it feels.

“Everything’s fine!” I assure him. The words leave a foul taste in my mouth. “It's a lot to get used to all at once. But I promise, I'm just fine.”

His lips thin slightly as he continues staring at me, but I don't budge.

The last thing I need is to make him worry about me. He's already doing so much for me. If it wasn't for him and aunt Kathy, I wouldn't have a place to stay, much less an internship and a plan for my life after school. I don't want to make it harder on him.

“If you say so,” he finally says, although I can hear in his voice that he doesn't believe me. “Get home safe, kiddo.”

I keep that bright smile pasted on my face as I head for the door, not allowing it to waver for a second.

“You got it,” I agree. “Don't stay out late or Aunt Kathy will get mad at you again.”

He chuckles softly in response as I slip out the door and head back toward my office. My smile falls as soon as I'm out of eyesight.

The light in Shane’s office is already off, the blinds open to show his desk deserted even though it's barely past time to head out. When we started, both of us would spend hours after we were supposed to be done, poring over files and tossing ideas back and forth. It feels like forever ago that he would bring me coffee with a smile and make friendly jokes all day.

Our budding friendship has completely dissolved.

I barely make it to my desk before I hear a soft knock. Alli is there when I turn, leaning against the door jam. One perfectly sculpted brow is raised in worry, but I paste on a smile like I have any belief that it’ll fool her.

“Heading out?” I ask.

“In a minute,” she says, stepping further into my office and pulling the door closed behind her. “Are you doing alright?”

I should probably wave her off just like I did with my uncle. It’s unprofessional to blabber on about my personal life to my coworkers, but the look in Alli’s eye tells me she’s not going to take no for an answer. If I’m honest with myself, I really do need someone to talk to.

I haven’t told Phoebe about any of this yet because I know she’ll be excited about me trying to move on. The thought of moving on hurts even worse now that I know how wrong it felt when I tried.

“Hanging in there.” I don’t bother hiding the exhaustion in my voice, and Alli’s face creases into a worried little frown. “Can I vent to you for a little? It’s about personal stuff.”

A soft laugh falls from her lips, and relief flashes in her eyes.

“You’re more of a friend than a coworker to me,” she says. “I’m all ears. And whatever you say stays between us. I know how to keep my mouth shut.”

I sigh, leaning back against my desk.

“Shane and I kind of went on a date,” I blurt out. “He kissed me.”

Alli’s brow rises just slightly in surprise, but there’s no judgment on her face. She nods, looking thoughtful, and smiles sympathetically at me.

“I assume it didn’t go well?” she asks.

“You could say that.” I twine my fingers together, idly picking at one of my nails in frustration. “He was fine. Great. I’m…reallynot over my ex. I feel like I led Shane on, and I don’t know how to continue being his friend or his coworker.”

She hums, tapping her nails against the strap of her bag.

“You haven’t talked to your uncle about any of this?”

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