Aunt Kathy is teary eyed when I lift my gaze to meet hers, but her smile is understanding. I’m still nervous, mostly because I don’t want to hurt her, but seeing the acceptance in her eyes soothes my racing heart just a bit.
“I know how homesickness goes,” she says quietly, squeezing my hands. “It’s hard to leave the nest. And sometimes, you have to fly away to know that you were where you belonged in the first place.”
My breath shakes a bit on my next inhale, and I bite down on my lip to stop myself from crying. No more tears.
“I only ever want you to be happy, Oakie,” she says, reaching up to cup my cheek affectionately. “Me and Ricky, the company, it’ll all be here if you ever want it. You don’t have to decide now. All you have to do is promise that you’ll do what makes you happy.”
Alright, maybe a few more tears.
I’m just so grateful to have her in my life, especially right now. She’s always understood, even when I didn’t have words to explain what I meant. There hasn’t been a single second that she hasn’t stood by me, and it’s a weight off my shoulders to know that I’m not letting her down.
“I promise,” I say, nodding fervently.
I don’t bring Jamie up again. He may be the catalyst here, but I think part of me knows that I’ve been wanting to go back home since I stepped foot in New York.
And I don’t know where anything with him is going yet. I’ll figure that out when I need to. For now, though, I’m going to do exactly what I just promised, and I’m going to chase my own happiness.
And that starts, as most good things do, with breakfast.
Can’t make plans to change the course of my whole life on an empty stomach.
Chapter Twelve
OAKLEY
I gruntas Mom wraps me up in a bear hug, squeezing me just shy of too hard. She huffs out a laugh into my hair before pulling back. Her hands rest on my shoulders, and her face is set in an excited smile, the very picture of a welcoming mother.
“Oakley, honey,” she croons, cupping my face in her hands. “I’ve missed you so much! Look at you, you’re losing weight. Are you not eating right up there?”
“Mama,” I say with a laugh as I extract myself from her grasp, “I’m fine. Aunt Kathy and Uncle Ricky have a home gym, I’ve just been running again.”
There’s more to it than that, but I don’t want her to worry about all the stress I’ve been under at work. I’m just glad she’s focusing on my weight and not the fact that I decided to come home for the holidays.
“How was your flight?” she asks.
“Uneventful, mostly,” I say, tossing my duffel bag into the backseat and sliding my suitcase in to follow. “Minus the three hour delay, at least.”
“I’m sure you’re starving. Let’s get you home, I’ll make you something to eat.”
Home cooking sounds absolutelyheavenlyright now, and I eagerly get in the car and buckle up. I’m still at the airport, but things already feel more right here than they do in New York.
As we pull out of the arrivals queue, I crack the window just a bit to get some air. It smells different, like home, and it settles some of my nerves.
I told Mama and Daddy that I was dropping in for the holidays, but I didn’t mention anything about my reservations toward going back once winter break is over.
My dad won’t be an issue—he always wants me within arm’s reach. The first time I told him I wanted to go to NYU, he’d nearly gone catatonic. I know it’s just because he worries about me and wants me close so he can keep me safe, but it was, at one time, overbearing and stifling. The idea of him watching my back feels a lot more comforting than claustrophobic now.
It’s my mom that I have a few more reservations about. I know she’ll ultimately support me, no matter what. I just worry that she’ll be disappointed when I tell them that I don’t want to stay at NYU.
IfI decide that I don’t want to stay at NYU.
I still haven’t exactly made up my mind on that whole issue.
And it’s not like she’ll be mad at me or anything, I know she just wants me to be happy. She’s just always had so much faith in me, and she was so excited when I wanted to go off to college. After Bo decided he wanted to stay and work on the ranch, she’d been so worried that all the hard work she’d put into being able to offer us any opportunity we could possibly want would be wasted.
Besides, I just want her to be proud of me. I don’t want her to think that I’m giving up.“How’s everyone doing?” I ask, pullingmyself out of my thoughts as Mama merges out of the mess of airport traffic.
“We’re all good,” she says, reaching over to turn down the radio. “I’m on my usual rampage of trying to get everyone in town to weatherproof their barns before their horses start getting sick, but you know how that goes.”