Page 2 of Riding Jamie

I’m done shedding tears over Jamie Walker.

Fuck him and the bull he rode in on.

He’s a coward, and I can’t believe that I fell for all the promises he spewed at me. It was so easy, in the end, for him to give everything up. He gave up on us, gave up onme, with hardly a second thought.

What hurts the most is how easily he let me leave.

I didn’t think he’d just let me walk away like that.

Part of me still expects to wake up one morning to him trying to knock down the door and beg for my forgiveness. Even in my fantasies, I’m torn between wanting to turn him away scornfully and wanting to welcome him back with open arms.

But I’ve given him plenty of time. It’s been three fucking weeks, and I didn’t make it any sort of secret where I went.

I know I haven't made it easy on him. I blocked him on everything, sure, but when I first considered going to NYU, we talked about asking Kathy and Ricky if they’d let him stay here, too. He could ask around. It’s not like we don’t know all the same people back home, and I’m positive he could get my address if he tried hard enough. Phoebe doesn’t say anything about him when we talk, and I’m not brave enough to ask her if he bothered to reach out to her when he couldn’t get through to me. She probably wouldn’t tell me, anyway, considering I told everyone to not even think about him near me, but I don’t think I want to know either way.

If he loved me as much as he said he did, wouldn’t he have found a way to talk to me? He could have shown up at my house before graduation or stopped me from leaving after the ceremony. If everything he said about wanting me was true, he’d have already been here, begging for me back.

Maybe I’m not giving him very many options here, but I just expected him to try harder.

Wherever we go, whatever we do, I’m going to be with you.

I snort scathingly at the memory of him murmuring those words to me. His hands had been in my hair, and I’d believed every single syllable that dripped from his lips.

Going to be with me, my ass.

Jamie Walker is never going to get another second of my time. I’m done with him.

I deserve better than a liar, better than a coward who can’t even tell me that he won’t pick me over the career his fucking dad chose for him.

I’m done waiting around, gritting my teeth and slamming my hand down on the emergency stop button. I grip the safety rails, forcing my breaths to come slow and steady and ignoring the way my fingers are shaking. The motor falls quiet as the belt of the treadmill slows to a stop, and I take a moment to soak in the quiet of the early morning. The only sound in the gym is the sound of my breath. I smirk because I don’t sound like I’m on the verge of tears anymore.

I sound exhausted, certainly, but less drained.

I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror on the opposite wall when I straighten up and turn to grab my water bottle. My skin is flushed, sweat glistening under the lights, and the bags under my eyes are so bad that they look almost like bruises. The smile on my face is uncertain, but determined.

I’m not going to be the girl that Jamie Walker walked away from. I’m not going to be the girl he left. I’m going to be the girl helost.

My life is my own, and I’m going to kick ass at college, make new friends, and call home every week, bragging about how I’ll be the youngest CEO Branson Logistics has ever seen. Jamie can wallow in his own regret when he realizes what he lost, what he gave up, and I’m not going to give it another thought.

I’m going to build my own dream, and he’s not going to get to see a single glimpse of it.

Promise me, I promise you, that to you, I will be true.

The only person I’m going to be true to is myself.

It’s high time I live forme.

Chapter Two

OAKLEY

“What doyou say to going out for a bit today?” Aunt Kathy asks, her voice purposefully casual as she pours some coffee for the both of us. “I want to do some shopping for your welcoming party, and I figured we could have it next week, so I have an excuse to go all out for the Fourth of July.”

I can tell by the look in her eyes that she expects me to have an excuse ready, but I just take my coffee from her and sip at it, sighing happily at the soothing warmth. I shrug easily and nod, biting back a yawn.

“Sure, we can do that,” I agree. “We could make a girl’s day out of it if you want? I know you were saying something about that new brunch place a few days ago.”

The look on her face warms my heart and makes me wish I’d pulled myself out of my funk earlier. I’m serious about starting my new life here, and that starts with spending time with the people I love who live here.

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