That, too, was something to be grateful for.
Siena went on forking up her dessert. Her mood was strange. She tried to find a word for it, but the only one she could come up with was ‘exhausted’. Maybe that did sum up the situation. But another one came, too.
Relieved.
She wondered at it for a moment.
Relieved? Did she really feel relieved? And if so, why?
Because we’ve got something out of the way—something else.
Something other than the apology that she knew must have stuck in his craw.
But he made it all the same.
She frowned inwardly. Yes, he had. She had to give him that. And she had to give him something else—even if it stuck inhercraw to do so.
He’s making an effort.
Because he was—that was obvious.
And I have to as well.
She looked up...looked across at him. His face was unreadable again. Not closed, just...unreadable.
Suddenly, she wanted to read it. ‘Were you really shocked that you fell into bed with me like that?’
The words were out of her mouth before she could filter them.
He met her eyes. ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘It’s not something I’ve ever done before.’
She looked puzzled. He had spoken calmly, but she’d picked up something in the timbre of his voice. ‘It’s not supposed to be something men think is a big deal,’ she said slowly. ‘Instant sex with a stranger.’
He set down his cheese knife. ‘That depends on the man, doesn’t it?’
She pondered his answer. Pondered her reaction to it.
She knew that she was if not glad, precisely, at what he’d just said, then she was not the opposite. She also knew she wanted to ask another question—needed to ask it. But it was riskier...much riskier.
‘What is it?’ he asked. His eyes were still resting on her.
‘What’s what?’ she returned.
‘What is it you want to ask me?’ he said.
She was taken aback.How did he know...?
‘Your face is expressive,’ he said, as if he’d heard her ask that very question out loud.
There was a touch of dryness in his voice, but it was not harsh, or acerbic. It had the same quality as when he’d said,‘There is no need to beat yourself up about it.’Then he had touched her cheek...
She swallowed. Her throat had tightened, but she didn’t know why.
‘If it’s a difficult question, I will try to make it easier for you,’ he was saying now, and there was still that different timbre to his voice, the new way he was letting his eyes rest on her. She didn’t know what it was, but it made her take a breath. Risk asking the question. Blurting it out.
‘If...if you hadn’t had that early-morning meeting, would you...? Would you have...?’
‘Yes,’ he said.