Page 93 of Modern Romance Collection February 2025, 5-8

She shook her head and he lowered himself onto the sofa, wanting to hide his face so she wouldn’t witness the pain. But he’d been a coward with her before. He refused to be one now.

‘The day Michel died, I was with him. We’d been climbing. Preparing one day for the trip of our lifetime to Everest. To climb the mountain my father had failed to.’

Though that was something only he and Michel had thought. In all the time he’d spent with his father, Aston realised now, Simon had never seen his inability to reach Everest’s summit as a failure. Instead, he’d seen his survival in that terrible climbing season as a success, a second chance.

‘You know I said Michel lost focus?’

Ana winced. He had no doubt she remembered that conversation, and he hated to bring her more pain, but the past had informed every day of his present and it was time to put it behind him, if she’d allow it.

‘It was an error both of judgement and equipment. He fell, was injured—mortally. I... I couldn’t save him. He died in front of me as we waited for rescue.’

He couldn’t look at her any more. Didn’t want to read what she saw on his face. His eyes flooded. He blinked the tears away. Beside him, the seat dipped. Through a blur he saw Ana seated next to him. He felt the warmth of her hand on his thigh. There was comfort in her touch. She was so generous, he didn’t deserve it.

‘I don’t know what to say.’

‘Nothing. You don’t have to say anything.’

All the words that needed to be spoken were his.

‘He knew he was dying. Just before he passed, he said, “I’m dying...live for me”.’

The ache inside his chest was a yawning one, a chasm that would never be filled. He chanced a look at Ana and tears brimmed in her eyes then overflowed. One tracked down her cheek. He wanted to wipe it away, but he had no right to touch her, especially not to comfort. It wasn’t his place, not yet. If she saw fit to afford him some grace, to forgive him, onlythenwould he have earned the privilege.

‘Don’t cry for me. I don’t deserve it.’

‘I think you might.’

‘It had always been Michel’s dream to climb Everest, and the rest. To conquer the world’s tallest, hardest peaks. I carried it from the moment he spoke those words to me. But I didn’t stop to think.’

His brother had said, ‘Live for me’. Not, ‘Climb Everest’, or Annapurna or K2 or Nanga Parbat. Simply, ‘Live.’

‘Instead of living my own life, I tried to live Michel’s—fulfil what I believed were his dreams, rather than my own. I didn’t even know what mine were any more. Working towards Michel’s is what kept me moving forwards.’

If he’d been truthful to himself, he would have recognised it years ago. He realised it was what his parents had been trying to tell him, in their own way. To look into the heart of himself to whathewanted, not live his life for others. He could now thank them for the push that had allowed Ana to burst into his life. Calling on him to reflect on everything he thought he’d wanted.

‘You were young. His death wasn’t your fault.’

‘I was broken, and I was a fool. I felt guilty. My parents saw it. They hoped marriage would make me settle down, accept life as it was. And then I met you.’

His chance to make the life for himself he’d been told to live. With a woman whom he admired, whom he loved. Because of fear, he’d thrown it back in her face. He’d hurt her, when he’d promised to keep her safe.

He took a chance and took her hands in his. They were cold. He wanted to show her love, to keep her warm. To keep her with him, if she’d allow it.

‘You challenged everything I thought I was meant to do. I’d mistaken Michel’s dreams for mine for so long that letting them go would have been like losing him all over again, a second death. In the process, I accused you of things, broke something—us. Something real and right. Something perfect, although I know you hate the word. And for that I’m truly sorry.’

Ana shook her head. ‘I never wanted to hold you back, or force you tosettle.’

He squeezed her fingers. She squeezed back. That one, tiny moment gave him hope.

‘With you, I could only ever look forwards. The person holding me back was myself. But no more. I loved you. Iloveyou—jusqu’à la fin de mes jours. I don’t care about an inheritance. I don’t care about Girard. All I care about is you.’

I love you—until the end of my days...

Ana looked at where their hands were joined. Somehow, their fingers had twined together as if of their own accord. It felt so right. It was everything she’d wanted, as if they should never separate again. And yet the thought still rang through her head that hecouldn’tlove her. Why couldn’t she simply believe instead?

‘What are you saying?’ she asked.

Aston rubbed his thumb gently over the back of her hand. The touch caused a shiver of pleasure to run through her.

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