Page 12 of Reckless Single Daddy

As a looming tension rests on my shoulders, I still have to remind myself why I’m in Rose Valley in the first place, and that’s my sister. As her wedding approaches, I feel all of these other additional challenges. Not just my own, but to be the best maid of honor I can be for her. There are all these responsibilities that I haven’t prepared for yet, and I just want to do the right thing by her. I want her to have a happy day and for everything to go perfectly.

Cade was right. I haven’t shown up for my family.

My siblings didn’t do anything to me, and neither did my parents, despite their criticism of my art career. Maybe I was just being selfish when I decided to stay away for as long as I have, but I needed to protect myself. At least, that’s what I kept telling myself.

So while I’m here for the wedding, maybe this can be a fresh start for me, too. That doesn’t mean I’ll decide to uproot my life in the city and return to Rose Valley, just that maybe I can learn a thing or two about myself while I’m here and mend the relationships I’ve placed a wedge in.

But not today.

Today is Mia’s bridal shower, and to say I’m excited would be an understatement. I’m not looking forward to being surrounded by people I haven’t seen in over ten years. People I used to call my friends, who have probably gone off, gotten married, and had a bunch of kids. They’ll wonder the same things as everyone else. Why have you been gone so long? Are you dating anyone?

Let’s not forget Mia’s friends, who are just as excited as she is about her getting married. As they should be; they’re her best friends and bridesmaids. Still, it’s so difficult to put on a brave and happy face around these people. It’s part of why I stayed away. I always felt like the black sheep, so it was easier to stay hidden in the shadows while everyone doted on Mia and Mike. I didn’t stick to the constructs that were built and laid out for me to follow, but they did. I broke the mold, something pretty devastating for the Bennett name.

I’m still going to be the best maid of honor I can be and put on a smiling face because today isn’t about me—this entire trip isn’t, and I’m not a monster, but I am nervous. I’m nervous that I am going to wreck everything, and I’m nervous that people are going to notice that I am not who I used to be.

I’m scared. I’m scared that people are going to judge me just like Cade did the night I got into town, but they don’t understand. They don’t understand what I've gone through these past ten years. It isn’t that I’m avoiding being home per se; I’m avoiding looking at myself. Will I be happy with what I see?

Rose Valley is a reminder of everything that I once was and everything that built me into the person I am today. This isn’t to say that I’m not proud of my accomplishments in my career, but I’ve made a lot of mistakes, too, and I’m not ready to admit to the rest of Rose Valley that I feel like I failed. I’m not ready to admit that I’ve spent most of my days in front of a canvas with no social life—hence, why I am still single.

I’m married to my art. But isn’t that just depressing?

Standing in front of my full-length mirror after finally getting the gumption and energy to move feels all too vulnerable. It’s like I’m staring at myself, naked and bare, and I have an audience judging me in an auditorium. I’m dressed in the sundress my mother picked out because the bridal shower demands spring formalwear. I bought a dress, a white and yellow one. I thought it was cute enough and fit the theme, but it turns out it wasn’t pastel powder blue.

Excuse me.

So, pastel powder blue looks like it threw up on me, but at least it brings out my eyes, which is probably why Mia picked the color. We are the typical poster family of blond hair and blue-eyed small-town charm, not including Mike and my dad, who have brown hair. But isn’t that equally as typical?

I sigh as a light tap on my door breaks my train of thought. I turn around, and Mia walks in. She smiles softly and takes in myappearance. She looks relaxed for such an important day, but I know Mia. She hides her stress well. I wish I was more like that.

“You look beautiful, Sloane,” she says.

My lips quirk. “I’m not the one getting married. Shouldn’t I be shoveling compliments at you?” I ask.

She laughs, rolling her eyes. “You know if I waited for that, I’d be waiting an eternity,” she replies as I stare at her unamused. Her smile never falters as she walks further into my old room. “Listen, I just want to tell you it means a lot to me that you came home for me,” she says, and that’s when my heart drops in my stomach.

I wasn’t going to do this today. I wasn’t going to try and rebuild my relationships because this day was supposed to be about Mia. But she’s standing here, and clearly, this has been weighing on her for some time.

I let out a deep breath and motion for her to take a seat. We sit beside one another on my bed as I try to form a coherent thought. Waiting seemed like a good idea at the time, but if both of us have this looming feeling over us, we shouldn’t go into her wedding without clearing the air.

I meet her eyes and sigh. “You obviously know what happened six months after I graduated,” I say.

She nods sadly. “I wish you felt like you could come to me, or even Mike.”

I look away and shake my head from the memory. At one point or another, I was closest with Mia, but Mike was your typical big brother. He was my protector, someone I could turn to when I felt like I was in trouble. Mia and I were close for different reasons. They weren’t just my siblings; they filled the void I was missing from our parents. They supported my dreams and encouraged me to pursue them despite the risks. They never told me I wasn’t going to make my dreams a reality.

In hindsight, I wish I could have gone to Mia when things weren’t going right. But just like how I didn’t want to prove my parents right, I didn’t want to disappoint my siblings, either. They stuck their necks out for me when I needed most.

“Mike and Camilla had just had Landon, and you were just starting your new job,” I tell her. “I didn’t want you to think less of me because I wasn’t doing everything you and Mike thought I would.”

She places her hand over my fidgeting ones that are nestled in my lap. “Sloane,” she says, and I look up to meet her gaze. “You could never disappoint either one of us. Besides, there is nothing wrong with falling as long as you get back up,” she adds, and I chuckle softly.

“You’ve been spending too much time with ten-year-olds. You’re starting to sound like a fortune cookie,” I tease her.

She rolls her eyes but smiles. “The point is… I’m here for you, as is Mike. Regardless of all the life changes we go through, you’ll always be my sister, and I’ll continue to stick my neck out for you. You haven’t failed me yet.”

Cade’s face flashes into my head. I may not have failed Mia, but I may have failed Mike.

But whatever feelings I have about Mike and Cade are irrelevant right now. What’s important is Mia and what she’s feeling, and right now, everything feels much lighter than they did before she walked through the door.

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