Page 93 of Sworn to Protect

“Oh.” My gaze flicks to my desk, where my nursing book lies open. Not that it matters. Every sentence reminds me of a particular surgeon I’m trying to forget.

“And”—Mom exhales, looking around the room as if searching for the right words. “I owe you an apology.”

I stiffen. Here it comes.

“Why don’t we sit down?” I motion toward the couch, keeping my tone neutral. “Want some coffee or tea?”

She shakes her head as she studies the floor. She follows me to the couch but won’t look at me. Guilt is eating her alive.

“I believed, in my heart, your brother always meant well.”

I snap. “Just stop! I’mnotlistening to excuses.”

“That’s not what I’m doing?—”

“It’snot?”

“No, let me explain.”

She draws a shaky breath, and something in her tone makes me pause. I clamp my mouth shut. I can’t keep reacting emotionally. I need to listen.

“I’ve been blind to Jordan’s behavior, partly out of guilt.” She shifts again, wringing her hands. “I clung to the hope he’d grow into the man Iknewhe could be. But he won’t. And I know that now.” Her voice cracks. “I blame myself.”

I lean back in my seat, throat tightening. “Jordan’s anadult,Mom. You’re not responsible for his behavior.”

“I didn’t fight hard enough when I left your father.” Her voice is small, broken. “I should’ve insisted Jordan live with us. That’s my biggest regret.”

Tears sting my eyes. Jordan would have chosen Dad anyway. But saying that won’t ease the guilt crushing her.

Instead, I move. I wrap my arms around her, and she crumples into me. Her body shakes as I murmur words of comfort. Because that’s what I alwaysdo. I shoulder the weight. I soothe. Even when I’m the one hurting.

“I pushed you away by holding on to him,” she whispers. “I see that now. And I’m so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?”

I pull back so she can see how serious I am. “Yes, it drove me crazy when you kept enabling him, but I love you, Mom. That will never change.”

“You forgive me?”

“Of course I do.”

She cups my face in her hands, wearing a sad smile. “My beautiful girl.”

I force a smile in return, but her words stab deep. Because I did the same damn thing with Nate.

“I drove away a good man.”

Mom’s eyes gleam. “Oh, honey. Something tells me he won’t be gone for long.”

I scoff, blinking hard. “He won’t answer my calls. Or texts. Ireallyblew it.”

“Give him time. That man loves you.”

I want to believe her. I just don’t.

After she and the boys leave, I focus on schoolwork despite my mind racing in a million different directions. I remain in this funk until the knock at the front door jars me to the present.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

A rush of queasiness hits me like a tsunami as I peek through the window and spot Detective Stubbs’s car parked in the driveway.

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