Page 81 of Sworn to Protect

Oomph. Direct hit.

I swallow past the lump in my throat. I don’t dare ask if he includes Ethan in that comparison. The truth speaks for itself. Nate outshines them all. He’s done more with these kids than Ethan or Jordan could ever dream.

He listens. He gives them advice. He takes care of them.

And it’s not just a sense of duty. It’s who he is.

I watch Liam for a moment, his sharp, inquisitive eyes so much like Ethan’s. But the sass? That’s all me. My sweet boy.

“You’re right,” I finally say. “Nate’s pretty great. He cares about you both, too.”

Satisfied, Liam grins and hobbles down the hall. That kid is wise beyond his years.

But Mom’s words linger in my head.“You only have one go-around in life. Holding onto grudges doesn’t do anyone any good.”

Easier said than done.

Maybe that’s why she forgave my father. Why she turned a blind eye to his scams, his selfishness, and the choices that landed him in jail. Maybe letting go of grudges is easier when you don’t have to live with the consequences.

I close my eyes and inhale deeply. I should get back to yoga. The breathing techniques might help. Because right now? I’m carrying too damn much. And if I’m going to let go of anything, I know exactly where to start.

And it’s not with Jordan.

The boys’ laughter echoes down the hall as I retreat to my bedroom.

My gaze lands on the boxes stacked in the corner—still untouched. They can wait. What I need to face is far more difficult.

I lock the door, my pulse kicking up. My hands tremble as I reach for the small box on my dresser.

The letter inside burns against my palm. Ethan’s last words.

My stomach churns as I unfold the paper, my eyes skimming the familiar scrawl.

Mackenzie,

I bet you couldn’t believe it when you saw this letter in my box. Pretty messed up since I gave you so much shit over that movie you made me watch, huh? This may be bad juju, but I needed to tell you a few things before heading out on this mission. Some things I should’ve said a long time ago.

I can’t put it off any longer becauseI know there’s a chance I might not come back. If you’re reading this, things didn’t go as planned, and I’m sorry for leaving you alone. I wish I could be there to help you raise our sons and watch them become the men we hope they will be. But if fate has dealt me a different hand, I ask you to do one thing for me: move on.

Don’t lock yourself up in grief or hold on to me so tightly that you miss out on the beauty of life. It’s okay to miss me, Mackenzie, but it’s not okay to stop living just because I’m not there.

We both knew the direction our marriage was headed. I haven’t been the best husband or father, but that’s on me. We were young when we got married. Don’t ever doubt my love for you. We just grew apart.

I’ve seen enough death and loss to know that everyone deserves a second chance at happiness. And that includes you. Don’t let my absence haunt your steps or hinder your progress. You’re strong and capable, more than you give yourself credit for. You will come out this stronger and better.

As for the boys, tell them their father loved them very much and was incredibly proud of them. Let them know that serving his country was something he took great pride in, even if it took him away from them too soon.

And lastly, about Nate...

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

NATE

The wait is over.

Tonight, no matter who interrupts, I’m telling Mackenzie the truth. Ethan sent me. I can’t keep this from her any longer.

My stomach rolls while I climb the stairs to her house and knock. She’ll understand.

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