Page 28 of Sworn to Protect

“Yeah. I don’t work Saturday.”

“Yes! How long is Uncle Jordan going to stay? Will he be here for my birthday?”

God, I’m a terrible mother. How could I also forget about his upcoming birthday? “I don’t know, honey. But I’m sure he’ll still be around here.”

“Are you mad at Nate?”

I blow out a breath. “You mean Mr. Dixon? No. I didn’t like the fact he had a gun, but I spoke to him about that.”

“Dad had guns.”

“I didn’t like that either.”

Liam shrugs. “I like Nate . . . Mr. Dixon.”

“Yeah? I like him too.”He respects my wishes.

“Will he be back?”

“I don’t know, but I doubt it. I’m not sure there will be a need for him to come over.” I ignore the weird pang in my chest that thought causes.

“He listened.”

I turn to face my son. He stands near the doorway, his expression all too serious for a ten-year-old. “What do you mean?”

“When I talked. Nate listened to me. Dad never did.” He looks down at the ground as if ashamed to admit that. My heart breaks.

“Your dad was . . .” Selfish comes to mind, but I shouldn’t think that way. That isn’t fair to say when Ethan isn’t here to defend himself. No matter how accurate the words are.But he did leave a letter.“Your dad was busy and had a lot on his mind.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for. Wishing you spent more time together is perfectly normal.”

“I just . . . I don’t know. Sometimes, I felt like Dad didn’t want us to bother him.”

Oh boy.

I walk over to my son, hug him, and kiss his head. Then, I back up just enough to look him in the eyes. “He loved you. Sometimes, people have a hard time expressing themselves. They don’t know how to show how much they care. But never doubt his love for you.”

Liam nods, his eyes filled with so many emotions that my heart hurts. Our discussion took an unexpected turn into Heavyville, but he obviously needed reassurance. I may sugarcoat Ethan’s actions, but I believe what I’m saying. Ethan loved his kids but didn’t want to bear the responsibility that came with them. The stove’s timer dings, shutting down our conversation.

“Let’s eat, shall we?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Liam backs away but turns toward me as he reaches the hallway. “I love you, Mom.”

“I love you too.”

Then, he bolts from the room to get his brother. With a heavy heart, I grab the box and place it on my dresser. I look at it and then back at my ring finger. My chest constricts as I slide my wedding ring off. The small diamond chip blurs through the wetness in my eyes. The ring wasn’t much, but it was all we could afford then. Ethan promised to buy a different one but never followed through, like so many of his promises. Not that I ever cared about the diamond size. It’s what the band represents that matters most to me. I take a deep breath and place the band inside the box with Ethan’s. As for Ethan’s last words, I’ll have to work myself up for that task. Not enough time has passed to read words he should’ve said years ago. But maybe those words could hold something I need, a silver of closure or a truth I’ve been avoiding. Even so, the thought of facing them now feels like reopening a wound that hasn’t fully healed.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

NATE

The soundof explosions still echoes in my head, even as my feet pound against the asphalt. Sweat stings my eyes, but I push harder, trying to outrun the memories. Outrun the blood.

The late morning heat presses against me like a second skin, and my lungs burn, but I can’t stop. Won’t stop. The evergreen trees blur as I pick up my pace, yet I can’t shake the images no matter how fast I go.

Screams. Sirens.Too late.

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