Page 20 of All Along

“I’m trying to understand why my friend I haven’t seen in over a decade doesn’t want to spend any time with me.”

“I told you. You’re better off without me.”

“Let me be the judge of that.”

“Too late. I already adjudicated the matter and the verdict is clear.”

I giggle. There’s my Caleb. Being silly and funny. He used to make me laugh out loud all the time when I was tutoring him in the library. The librarian threatened to kick us out on a daily basis.

“I want to appeal.”

“Sorry. No appeal is possible in this matter.”

“Okay.” I try a different angle. “Can you explain why?”

“Nope. Trust me. You’re better off not knowing.”

“Do you think I can’t handle it? I can handle lots of things. I spent half of high school in detention for things my friends did. And I never complained. Never tattled on them.”

“What your friends did? You never participated?”

“Being a lookout is not the same thing as committing the crime of breaking and entering.”

“The law would disagree with you there.”

He’s probably right. I’ve never researched the matter. Better not to know in my opinion.

“Open the door and I’ll tell you all about the time we broke into the principal’s office.”

I hear him sigh on the other side of the door. “You’re not hearing me, Maya. I’m not opening this door. I don’t want to see you.”

“Why not?”

“None of your damn business.”

I flinch at how cruel his words sound.

“I’m your friend.”

“Doesn’t mean you have the right to know everything about me.”

“But I know literally nothing. Not why you’re here. Not how long you’re staying. Nothing. I’m out here in the dark.”

“Here’s a suggestion. Hop in your car and switch on the lights before driving back to Smuggler’s Rest.”

“Caleb. Don’t send me away,” I practically beg. I’m not too proud to beg when it comes to Caleb. I’d do anything for him. Except leave him alone when he needs me. That I won’t do.

“Damnit, Maya. I don’t want you here. I don’t know how else to say it except leave and don’t come back.”

My eyes itch and tears well at his words. “Why are you doing this to me, Caleb?”

“I’m not doing shit to you. Leave, Maya.”

I give in. Today is obviously not the day he’s going to open the door to me. I might as well go away and get warm back home. But I won’t leave him alone forever.

“I’ll be back.”

“Don’t come back, Maya. Leave me alone. I’m serious. I don’t want to see you. Not now. Not tomorrow. Not ever.”