Page 17 of Scoring Grey

“Would you go if I went with you?”

I twist the lanyard around my index finger. “I’d consider it. I’m just not ready.”

“Lou, I support all your choices, you know that. I know what’s at stake, but let me say this, all you need to do is say the word, and there’s nothing that man wouldn’t do for you. He loves you. I know I questioned that along with you for a long time, but he’s in the dark, Eloise.”

I stand up, unable to sit any longer. Over the last year, a lot of things have come to light. As teenagers, we didn’t discuss our family dynamics in depth. We both wanted to escape what awaited us back home, so we never talked about it. I’m an heiress to a multibillion-dollar publishing house. Well, what used to be. Over the past two decades, the company has evolved under my mother’s leadership, expanding its reach far beyond publishing. When it came to Cal, I wasn’t sure what was waiting for him back home. We didn’t go there enough, but what you don’t change, you accept. If Cal wanted something different, I didn’t see it, but I didn’t pry either. Had I done so, things might have been different. It’s always the what-ifs and maybes that we regret the most.

I anxiously bite the skin on the side of my thumb. “I’m looking into Lucas’s threats. I’ve never been able to find any credibility. I know he and my parents have a history, but things don’t add up.”

“Have you tried asking Cal? You don’t have to lay it all out there. Just have a casual conversation.”

I pace back and forth in front of the window. “You’re right. This is stupid. I’m overthinking all of this. I’m making everything harder than it needs to be.” I sigh as I throw my head back and stare at the ceiling to find my center.

“Hey.” He’s at my front, his hands rubbing my shoulders. “I’d be just as fucking anxious if Katie was back in my life asking for a second chance after all the things she walked away from.”

Turns out one of the reasons Arlo was so adamant that I tell Cal about the pregnancy was because a week prior, the girl he’d been casually hooking up with dropped a bomb on him. Katie gave birth to Zander and only stuck around for a few months before taking off. It’s another reason he and I have become close over the years. We were both single parents. Sure, I have Cal. He wants to be and is part of Adler’s life, but I didn’t hold him back from college, and I definitely never wanted to stand in the way of him going pro. He’s never missed a holiday or birthday, but he’s on the road often during the season. Cal has given me a lot of space to call all the shots, but his patience is waning.

“You have time. Do what you believe will get you the end you seek the most.”

I softly push my fist into his chest with a small smile. “For someone who believes he’s terrible with words, you always seem to have the right ones.”

His eyebrows rise in surprise. “Those were good?” he questions skeptically.

“Yeah, they were good. You’re going to make some girl really happy one day.”

“Ehhh…” He shrugs. “I’m not worried about someday. I’m more concerned about right now. If you’re good, I’m starving.”

This time, I pack a little punch in my playful jab. “Come on, I’ll throw on some fresh clothes, and we can grab something around the corner.”

Ican’t be sure what stirred me awake. All I know is that the paranormal feeling of being watched has settled over me and falling back asleep is not an option. I strain my ears, listening for any noises that may have caused me to wake. I’m not used to living in a city, but we’re on the top floor of the building, and this late, the hum from the streets below has typically settled. It’s not until I find the courage to open my eyes that another sense kicks in, and my fear vanishes. I can smell him: sandalwood. Leaning onto my arms, I sit up and blink rapidly, willing my eyes to focus before they’re ready, and that’s when I see him.

Callum is across the room, sitting in the chair beside my window.

“What are you doing?”

“Watching you sleep.”

“I can see that. Why?”

“Because it calms me.”

Something in his answer resonates because I spent the entire day replaying how my morning started with him on the floor next to me. It was honest. His words were playful, but the action spoke of something different, and knowing he did that has had me feeling a certain way all day. I didn’t know what that was until just now. It was calm, warmth, peace, and love. As much as knowing watching me sleep brings him joy, if I wasn’t willing to share a place with him, I can’t very well let him sit in a chair night after night watching me sleep.

“Cal—”

“My place was empty when I got home. I had to see…”

“You thought someone else was in here with me.”

He’s quiet, and my stomach starts to fill with dread. If we can’t trust each other, there’s little hope for our future. A seed of doubt can kill all this before we even have a chance to start.

“Old habits die hard, but I think I knew I’d find you alone before I stepped out of my front door, but I needed to see you. Arlo was gone, and more than anything, I thought maybe you left too.”

I click on my bedside lamp. “Why would I leave?”

“You didn’t come tonight.”

His game. Damn it. I pull my knees up and wrap my arms around my legs.This is why you’re here, Lou. Give him the truth.“I’m warming up to it.” It’s not a lie. It’s also not the whole truth, but a partial one is a start. Our son has been to his games, but I was never the one to take him. I sent my brother or my father in my place. It’s on the tip of my tongue to say more, but I’m not ready for the hurt that comes with it, especially when I see the stress my absence tonight already caused him. He sits on the bed, and I add, “I’m not ready to give up the simple life I’ve carved out.”

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