Page 43 of Julian's Curse

“Shoot,” she exclaimed. “And I assume you have all the symptoms, like nausea, and fatigue?”

“Yeah,” I omitted the part where I’d been feeling short of breath. I really didn’t want to refer to the heart in front of her. But that’s how it felt. Like my heart was suddenly working harder to keep me oxygenated. Rationally, I knew I wasn’t short of breath, though.

She changed the subject. “My dad’s been suspecting something,” she remarked. “Julian’s been in really erratic moods during meetings, and he even blew up at another investor.”

“I know it’s a conflict of interest, Sophie. It’s your dad. If you need to tell him, I understand.” I couldn’t ask her to keep it confidential.

“But he’s in rehab, right? That’s a good sign.” She assessed.

“I just know better than to believe recovery is that straightforward,” I keenly shared my thoughts.

“I don’t think it’s my place to tell Dad,” she assured me. “He’s, however, thinking of retiring and has announced this toJulian a few weeks ago. So, I know Julian is looking for a replacement too.”

This came as a surprise, but Mr. Dickens had definitely made enough money to be able to do so. He was also of retirement age.

“When are you going to take the test, Lucie?” She shifted back to the topic of my likely pregnancy.

“In fact, I was about to,” I sulked.

“Do you want me to stay with you?” She squeezed my hand. No matter how hard all this was, it felt so great to have her as a friend.

“No, Sophie, I think I need to process this alone. Besides, I am sure you have better things to do than wait for me to pee on a strip.” I tried to turn my response into a lame joke.

She nodded in understanding and stood up to leave. “Look, Lucie, I’ll give you some space now, but if you need me, I’m always here. And if you want a place to stay—just to get away from Julian for a while once he comes back—Mark and I have plenty of room.” She added with a soft smile before heading out. “Please call if you need me anytime.”

I understood the message she’d left me — I needed to stay vigilant about my boundaries. But if I was to be honest, I didn’t have the best track record of that, especially when it came to Julian.

Hello Lucie, it’s been three weeks now that we’ve been apart. I know you’re probably working a lot, but try to take some time for yourself as well. Swing by my office today, I left you a surprise there. Hope it puts a smile on your beautiful face. Love always, Julian.

I started my day by reading a new note from Julian. They had become a reminder that, despite our challenges, he was stubborn enough to fight for our love. And that felt good, knowing that he was determined to get back to himself.

My first pregnancy test came back with a positive, and so did my second one. Getting up each day was becoming more difficult as my body adjusted to make room for new life. I longed to tell him, but I knew what would happen if I did—he’d leave Palm Springs and come back home, a choice he couldn’t affordto make. Every time I called the rehab facility, they gave me updates, but always recommended against connecting us for a conversation anyway.

I also needed to do a lot of thinking separately from his emotions. Still lying in bed, a disappointingly weak coffee on my nightstand, I browsed Google for information, the one thing that doctors usually warned against. I typed“Father using cocaine upon conception,”into Chrome, and immediately a handful of articles popped up, each with a warning. The headlines were a blur of alarming statistics, medical studies, and personal stories about the potential risks of drug use during conception. Most of the articles discussed the long-term effects of drugs on a developing baby, from birth defects to developmental delays. The grim statistics left a sour taste in my mouth and echoed in my mind. Did my life’s decisions already make me a terrible mother already?

I placed my hand on my stomach, feeling the faint, comforting warmth where our baby was growing. The baby I loved already, the baby I had wanted with all my heart. But as I thought about the circumstances, the timing, and the conditions surrounding this moment, doubt crept in. Everything felt so wrong—the way things had unfolded, the choices made, and the uncertainty that loomed over us. I couldn’t shake the feeling that this wasn’t how it was supposed to be, that the foundation we were building for this little life wasn’t solid enough. And yet, I couldn’t help but love this baby with every fiber of my being, even as the world around us seemed to be unraveling.

The sound of a notification stopped my train of thought.

Hey, Lucie,

It was Bradley. Part of me was relieved he’d finally texted, but I was still lost in my own head, in a world that didn’t have room for anyone else right now. Except for Sophie. She’d been my constant through all of it.

Hey,I replied back, mostly out of politeness. Bradley had always had my back, so I should return the sentiment.

Got a moment to talk?

Sure,I responded, trying to shake off the fog I was in.

I’m leaving for Kauai soon, he texted, like he was preparing me for something. It seemed like he’d wrapped up his project in San Diego and was heading back to the islands.I wanted to say goodbye in person, but after all the news articles, I don’t want to make it worse for you.

While I felt the sting of him leaving again, Hawaii was the place where he belonged, it was his one true home. I couldn’t be selfish toward him. And I most definitely understood his reasoning with that.I’ll miss you, Bradley. But I feel genuinely happy you’ve found your place. By that, I was referring to the stunning house he’d been renting there, that he’d showed me in the pictures.

About Valentina,he continued.I know you two are no longer on good terms, Lucie. I hate to hear about it.

Yeah, to say the least, we had a falling out. But I guess I played my role too. I downplayed the role she had in all of this.

It’s about me, isn’t it?

---