Page 89 of Lust

I hope he buys that that’s the only reason, but his forehead’s wrinkled up with worry.

“I love you, Dan.”

“I love you, Luke. Always.”

When I hang up, losing that image of him, I accept that might very well have been the last time I ever chat with him.

The guilt knotting in my gut intensifies, and I let the tears flow freely, taking my time with them so that I can get it all out before meeting the guys.

*

After I recoverfrom my conversation with Dan, I meet up with Brad and we head out to the old church.

There are stacks of boxes in the cellar, things we’ve ordered online over the past couple of days, which we get right into.

Cody collected our stats and purchased matching costumes so that if we happen to get caught behind the Alpha Alpha Mu house, we can say we’re there for the party.

As we toss on the navy-blue football jerseys and matching spandex pants, Brad growls, and I turn, catching him sneaking a glance at my ass.

“Fits nicely,” he says, arching an eyebrow before licking his lips.

I study myself in the mirror. “It’s weird being dressed in something so silly for the night we’re supposed to take on a vicious monster.”

“Maybe it’ll bring some levity to the situation.”

“I doubt much will do that.”

“Yeah…”

After we finish getting dressed, we throw on our jackets, and Brad digs through a few more boxes, finding the pepper spray and stun guns—the latter Seth’s idea. We ran a test on the pepper spray yesterday, and despite being advertised as shooting to ten feet, it was more like seven. Although, I’d rather shoot at this thing from seven feet than be up its ass with a bat or stun gun.

As I tuck my spray and stun gun in my jacket pockets, I say, “You know, I love the idea of having some weapons on me, but I keep having this image of me trying out the pepper spray. Doesn’t work, so I go for the stun gun, giving this monster enough time to rip my fucking throat out.”

Brad’s expression sobers.

“Relax,” I say. “We both know that’s not what I have to worry about tonight.”

As he winces, I realize that didn’t help any. “Sorry. I’m just in my head.”

“Okay, no,” he says, approaching me. “You’re not getting all apologetic on me. Not tonight.”

But there’s this creeping fear that this could be the last night I have to be apologetic about anything.

He hooks his arm around me and draws me close. He doesn’t go right for a kiss, like he has in the past. He gets close, studies my expression.

With everything we’ve had to plan, we haven’t really had time to mess around. And the Lust hasn’t been as intense since we shared my vision, so we haven’t needed to fuck just to keep on. But as his lips meet mine, a familiar relief sweeps through me. A relief I need so fucking desperately right now.

Brad must feel the same because before I know it, he has my wrists pinned against the wall, tongue sweeping against mine.

“It’s gonna be okay,” Brad whispers. “I’ll protect you. I’m not letting anything happen to you.”

He can’t know that, but his words ease up all that tension I’ve been carrying around in my chest, relaxing that twisting knot in my gut.

“Brad, I care about you so much.” Like with Dan earlier, I feel like if I don’t fucking say this now, I might not have the chance again. “I didn’t know I could feel about someone the way I do about you. I—”

“No,” Brad says before his lips crush against mine. I’m greedy for him as my body comes alive with pulsing desire, anticipating him sating my needs once again. When he finally pulls his mouth away, he whispers, “Don’t. No confessions. Nothing until we’re through this.”

“But I might not get another chance.”

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