Page 46 of Lust

Can’t really fault them for that, not when I’m not willing to walk away now that I know what I know.

I glance at the Sinners’ bible, running my thumb across the page. “I appreciate your sharing all that with me.” He’s holding something back, but I accept he’s done his best to help me understand this wild world I find myself in.

And really, though his answers only created more questions, I have to say, “I think that’s all I can handle for one night.”

“Yeah. I understand that.”

We’re maybe a foot away from each other, but I find myself resenting the space. Like if we could just close it again, then maybe some of this confusion and frustration would dissipate.

But now that I’m being pulled out of our conversation, back into the moment, I notice I’m naked. “Maybe I should put some clothes on.”

“Really? I prefer you like this,” Brad says, doing a once-over as a smug smirk slips across his face.

My dick shifts, which doesn’t escape his attention.

“You don’t need to put your clothes on right away,” he adds.

“Shut up.”

He chuckles, and as I reposition, he gets up and heads around the bed, picking up my boxers and pants and passing them to me. I thank him, and when I slide into them, a rush of disappointment pulses through me—my body’s disapproval of my decision not to have another go.

“Guess I’ll head back to my room now. Figure I can text you if I have anything I’m dying to get an answer to.”

“Yeah, that works.” He pulls on his briefs, which cling to his thighs and ass, reminding me that he is head to toe one hot motherfucker. He pulls his pants up and buttons his fly. “This is probably going to be awkward, but…that thing you brought up about why I haven’t fucked you yet.”

My chest tightens up. “Fucking kill me now. Can we not get into this?”

“You brought it up.”

“I can’t control half the shit I’m saying when we start messing around.”

“But that’s what you want. Iknowthat’s what you want.”

Of course he’d know—it’s all I can think about when we mess around, so I’d be surprised if he’d even need powers to pick up on it. “Don’t rub it in.”

“I’m only mentioning it because I think it would be wise to have a conversation about it rather than get lost in the moment next time.”

Next time. I know there’s gonna be a next time, but damn, it feels good to hear him say it.

“You sounded upset that I haven’t done anything to your ass.”

“Upsetseems a generous word for it.” More like hot rage, especially since it feels like he’s denying me something he knows I need.

“Luke, I wasn’t being entirely honest with you while we were messing around.”

“What?”

“I do want you to want that of your own free will. And each time I mess around with you, it feels like we have our wits about us a bit more. I was hoping that at some point you’d know it’s you wanting that, not just this all-consuming lust driving you to make that call.”

Damn him for being thoughtful again.

“But there’s more to it than that,” he says. “Truth is, it scares me. Terrifies me might be a better way of putting it. When I think about that…fantasize about it all day…then dream about it as it haunts me in my sleep, I just know that once we go there…I’m not ever gonna be the same. Like I’m going to need that ass…a lot. Even more than I do now. And that it’ll be even more difficult for you too. That’s frightening.”

It’s wild to hear him say something I’ve felt too. That once we pass that point, for whatever reason, it’s over and this ass really is just his. It should scare me too, but it doesn’t. Maybe because this lust has overridden the part of me that should give some fucks.

“Just so we’re clear, you’re saying you’re terrified of my ass,” I joke, which earns a glare.

“Don’t tease me.”

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