Page 39 of Lust

“Brad’s right,” Cody says. “It’s too late to stop whatever’s coming. And maybe Luke could help us. I mean, you can feel the power radiating off him.”

“Powerful, but a loose cannon,” Seth reminds them. “All this shit he’s been doing to our powers and with the powers he has that he doesn’t understand might even be the reason why this thing is out already.”

“That might be true,” Cody says, “but it’s irrelevant at the moment. We need to move forward with these new insights.”

I agree with Cody and am fast becoming beyond exasperated with Seth. “I get it, Seth. You don’t like me. I don’t like you. Now whatever the fuck secrets you guys are keeping, you need to be out with them because I’m getting tired of this crap.”

Cody nods. “Seth, would you grab the book?”

Seth doesn’t look happy about it, but he heads back to the stairs and grabs Cody’s backpack, retrieving an old leather-bound book. He eyes me as he returns to his friend and passes it to him.

“When I first came to St. Lawrence,” Cody says, “I stumbled upon this place. I was having a lot of depressive episodes and anxiety. I found when I came here that they eased up. One day, I felt this impulse to head toward the floorboards over in the corner there. It intensified the closer I got, this powerful urge to shift the boards around until I discovered this. Like it was calling me to it.” He flips to the first page and passes it to me.

At the top, in cursive writing, it says:The Sinners. And beneath it, two names:

Josh Dobbers

Mark Waters

Seeing my father’s name, in his handwriting, soothes some of my tension from that fucked-up vision.

“Dad,” I mutter, running my hand across the ink. But just as quickly as I feel ease, the tension returns, but this time, it’s rage. I turn to Brad. “You were keeping this from me?”

He doesn’t make eye contact. “I thought we were doing the right thing.”

“Well, that was a fucking mistake.” I stare him down. If I have some fucking powers, I wish I could blast him with all my anger right now. But whatever’s going on with me, that’s clearly not a thing, since nothing happens.

I head to the desk and snatch my bag, shoving the book inside.

“Hey, you can’t take that,” Seth says.

I don’t respond, just hurry toward the stairs.

Seth starts for me, but Cody stands in his way. “Let him. This is a lot.”

“Luke…” Brad calls after me, but I’m rushing up the stairwell. I’m so pissed.

I want to get away from these guys and get my fucking thoughts around the vision and our subsequent conversation.

12

BRAD

“The fuck happenedto you? You look like someone stomped on your heart.”

My roommate, Matteo, lies across his bed, phone in hand as I close the door behind me.

“You think someone rejected me?” I ask skeptically, and he rolls his eyes.

“I was only telling you what you looked like. But you’re awfully defensive for a guy who didn’t get his heart broken. So what’s up?”

Matteo’s a decent guy. I don’t want to take out my anger on him, but my emotions are all over the fucking place, and while Luke didn’t stomp on my heart, I’m terrified that what just happened in the old church will lead to something happening to him, something with worse consequences than depriving me of what I need now.

“It’s nothing.” I head to my side of our room and collapse in bed.

I keep thinking I should have chased after Luke, tried to reason with him, but after stopping Seth, Cody stopped me too.“He needs time to process this. Give him a minute, guys.”

Cody’s right, but giving Luke space isn’t easy. Since he hurried out of the church in a huff, I’ve felt this searing pain.Hispain. And yet it swells inmygoddamn chest, brought about by this connection neither of us can explain or escape.

---