Page 76 of Lust

“This sucks. I don’t want to train tonight. I want to just lie here and watch a movie.”

Meditating has been far from relaxing for Luke. I feel for him.

“Maybe tonight we could stay in.”

Seth and Cody wouldn’t be happy with that, but Luke’s only human. We’ve been trying since last week, and if Luke’s really this frustrated, maybe it will be a waste of time anyway.

“No, I need to go,” Luke says, fishing at his pad thai with his chopsticks.

“Hey,” I say, reaching over and resting my hand on his shoulder. “I’ll be right there with you.”

His lips twist into a smirk, and he nods. “Just not how I figured I’d be spending the first semester at St. Lawrence.”

I trail my hand to the back of his neck and offer a gentle rub, leaning close and kissing his cheek.

After we finish up dinner, we prep, then head out to the old church.

While we assume our usual positions, I receive a text from Seth:Good luck tonight. Keep us posted.I’ve been getting these sorts of texts since we started Luke’s sessions.

“That Seth?”

I nod, and I can see the frustration in his expression, like he already knows tonight is gonna be another failure.

“Wish me luck,” he says.

I get out of my meditation pose and crawl close to him so that my lips are right in front of his. “Good luck,” I say before planting a kiss on his lips.

I can feel his tension and uneasiness, but the more we kiss, the more he relaxes, and once I feel he’s eased up enough, I pull back, enjoying his smile as I cross my legs.

Luke closes his eyes, and I direct him through his breathing to start, like I usually do. He’s not cracking any jokes or shifting around, just obeys my instructions, and once he’s into it, I close my eyes and try to quiet my mind.

It’s not easy. I have plenty of my own bullshit rattling around in here…memories of my dad being an ass to me.

“You’re just like your mother.”

“The world’s not gonna be nice to you just because you’re my son.”

“Such a waste that you’re the one to carry my family name.”

Words that are always there, in the back of my mind, haunting me.

“Fuck,” Luke mutters, and I open my eyes. His eyes are closed, his expression twisted up, his cross floating up near his chin. He’s using his powers without touching me, seemingly without even realizing it. He raises his hand and hits his palm against his head. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he mutters.

“Hey, hey.” I lean over and rest my hand against his wrist, which rests on his knee.

“I need a break,” he says, and opens his eyes.

I’m expecting to see his blue irises, but his eyes—even the whites—are pitch black. For a moment I think it must be in my head, but Luke’s eyes widen, and he searches desperately around the room.

“No, no, no!” he calls out.

“Luke?”

He thrashes about, pulling away from my hand and screaming, “Make it stop! Make it fucking stop!” His hands cover his face as he calls out, and then he pulls them away and theblack is gone. I’m relieved, but that only lasts a moment because he continues searching the room, catching his breath.

“What the fuck just happened?” he asks.

“You were using your powers. Your necklace was floating without you touching me. But other than that, I don’t know. You tell me.”

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