Page 59 of Lust

I’ve surrendered to him. He’s surrendered to me.

We’ve both surrendered to this thing that’s taken control of us.

He turns his head, at the perfect angle for my mouth to move from his neck to his mouth. I’m delirious with sensation, trapped in the moment, making it hard to tell how much time passes—a minute, thirty minutes, an hour. All I know is that when I come to, we have an audience cheering us on and Alexei’s at our side.

“Look at you guys go,” he says.

Luke pulls away, though he doesn’t look bothered by the fact that his roomie just caught what we were doing.

“Aren’t you full of surprises?” Alexei teases. “Mind if I steal this stud away from you real quick?” He drapes an arm over my shoulder.

“Uh, sure,” Luke barely has a chance to say before Alexei pulls me aside.

“I knew you guys must have made up since that initial pickup game, but I didn’t realize how close you’d gotten.” He leans back and looks me dead in the eye. “So I just wanted to let you know, if I find out you’re fucking with him, I’m coming for you.”

Alexei’s normally cool and chill, but I get why he’d be suspicious about my interest in Luke after the way I’ve treated him since he first arrived. But there’s something in his gaze…like he might be talking about something else. Something he shouldn’t know.

That’s wild, though.

There’s no way.

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“What do you think I mean?” His stare doesn’t let up. “Don’t play games with him. I’m watching you.” He pats my shoulder condescendingly before he’s off, hurrying back through the crowd.

The warning leaves me a little shaken, but I remind myself that Alexei doesn’t know about the Sinners or the Rift or Cody’s visions.

I return to Luke, who’s standing by the wall, gazing off. As I approach him, he doesn’t look like he did only moments ago.

“Luke?”

“Sorry, I’m not feeling very good.”

“Is this about Alexei seeing us?”

“Huh? No. I—I’m feeling a little lightheaded.”

I assess his face. He looks pale. And though he’s saying it’s not about Alexei, considering the timing, I wonder if he’s struggling with being out to his friend before he was ready.

“Here, let’s get you some water.” I lead him to the kitchen and grab two bottles, then take him to a room upstairs. “We can lie down in here.”

“I think the guy whose room this is might mind.”

“Preston’s his name. And I found him in the bushes near the dorms one morning after a party, naked, and lent him clothes so he could get back to the frat in one piece, so he owes me. Just lie down. You look like you’re about to be sick.”

Luke takes a seat on the edge of the bed and drinks a sip of water. “Sorry. I was having a good time. I didn’t mean to fuck it up.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about. And you didn’t fuck anything up.”

I sit beside him as he takes a few breaths. Finally, he says, “It’s so dumb. It’s why I shouldn’t have come out tonight.”

“What do you mean?”

He closes his eyes and says, “I was really enjoying dancing with you. Like really enjoying it, and I got lost in the moment, and then when we stopped and you stepped away, this memory fucking hit me. I mean, I’ve thought about it plenty, especially today, but it was so vivid. I couldn’t push it back. And then I felt so fucking guilty for enjoying myself.”

“Guilty?”

“Mom and Dad were big on holidays. At Halloween, we’d spend time decorating the house and making cookies. They made a game of figuring out what costumes we’d wear when we went trick-or-treating. We’d watch scary movies together.” He chuckles. “Nothing really scary, mostly black-and-white movies. Anyway, I was just thinking how it’s not the same without them.”

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