Page 12 of Between Now and Always

His lips pucker in anger and he leans in, looming over me. “You’re nothing to me,” he says in a hoarse whisper.

The menace in his eyes is real. But, I’m not moved by it. My chuckle is sad and hollow. “Then our feelings are finally in sync.”

Just when we reach the bottom of the stairs, my father shouts after Phil, his footsteps thud on the steps behind us and we stop.

He strides toward us, his angry eyes burn straight into Phil.

“You’ll be sorry you did this. You could have had your rightful place. You shouldn’t have come back.” his arm extends and points at Phil, his face full of vengeance.

Phil scoffs. “I came back for my siblings, and foryou,” he says with a voice so cold, I shiver under the hot summer sun.

Cold Turkey

LIZ

When Phil asked where I wanted to go as we left the church, I didn’t even have to think about it before I answered. Every single possession I hold dear is stored in an upstairs closet in James’s house. Well, it’s Phil’s house now. He bought it from Erin last year.

We’ve just pulled into the driveway. Ten minutes ago, and I was riding the wave of adrenaline and conviction that propelled me to walk away from everything I’d been minutes away from shackling myself to.

Now, I’m less certain. All of the reasons I had for staying are running through my mind.

Cameron.

Money.

Fear of facing a world that I didn’t know how to navigate and falling flat on my face.

“I thought you were going to do it,” Phil finally gives voice to the emotion that’s been hanging heavy in the silence between us.

Chagrined, I duck my head and reach up to tuck a lock of hair behind my ear before I remember that I yanked my wig off as soon as we pulled away.

“I’m sorry. I wanted to say something when you were walking into the church. But, my mind was reeling from what Will told me.” My hands curl into fists in my lap.

“I wish there was a way toreallymake him pay. He didn’t know James would have that accident but they were luring him there for something… but what?”

He puts a hand on my shoulder and squeezes. “I’m going to find out. You know you can’t stay here, now, right?”

I swallow hard and nod. “I’m not sure if I’m ready…but I know.”

“There’s never a good time to make changes like this. If that’s what you’re waiting for, you’ll be here until you die.”

I drop my head back on the seat’s head rest and close my eyes against the wave of dread that rushes into me like a gale force wind.

“You need time to heal, and you need to find a way to really forgive yourself. Maybe, find a way to reconnect with Carter.”

I jerk away even as my heart leaps and strains forward at the sound of her master’s name.

“Don’t let shame, misplaced and unfairly yoked, keep people you care about out of your life.”

“Sure,” I say with my eyes on my lap.

“You’ll get over him, you’ll see.” He says, putting a comforting hand on my shoulder.

I nod but my throat is dry and tight. The words won’t come. As if heart won’t countenance the lie. Not when it’s rioting so fiercely that my entire body aches from its protest.

“What’s wrong? I’m here, you can tell me,” he says in a voice so soothing, so familiar, that despair coils itself around my heart.

I know he’s trying to encourage and comfort me. But he doesn’t know everything I’ve lost.

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