Page 76 of Between Now and Always

Just like that, I know that if this moment is all I ever have – it’s everything I could ever need.

Prince Charming Sends a Carriage

BETH

“These seats arerighton the side of the stage. This is fucking amazing,” Porsha crows and twirls in the center of my bedroom. Her indecently sheer skirt billows around her endless, shapely legs like a cotton candy colored breeze. She looks ridiculously sexy and not for the first time, I envy her naturally flawless, glowing skin.

“Watch your language tonight. I invited one of the girls I teach and she’s bringing her ten-year-old sister.”

Porsha’s lip curls in disgust. “A ten-year-old who hasn’t heard the word fuck before? I don’t want to hang out with people like that,” she quips and puts down the curling iron she’s been using.

“I’m nervous enough as it is, P, so please behave,” I plead and then glare at the smear of crimson on my chin. “This is the third time I’ve had to re-apply my lipstick,” I complain while I soak another cotton pad with make-up remover, and wipe it all off.

I’m a bundle of excitement and nerves and my hands have been unsteady all night. I just want tonight to be amazing. For the first time since I left Winsome, I was tempted to cover my birthmark. Lisa’s words from the other night, stung. I know she was an asshole, but she wasn’t wrong. I’m very aware of Carter’s stardom and the scrutiny that the women who date men like him face. If we were to take things where he wants, the nasty comments like hers, would be an occupational hazard. I could handle it, but could he? Was he nervous about it, too? It wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have…it would suck to know that my less than conventional looks could be an “issue”.

“Why areyounervous? You’re going to end the night getting fucked by your hot, famous boyfriend after he spends the night serenading you in front of thirty thousand people.”

My hand slips again and draws another red line down my chin. I toss the tube down on my vanity. It’s clearly not meant to be, I wipe it off and put on some Chapstick.

“Please stop exaggerating. He just gave me tickets to the show. I don’t have any expectations.”

“What’s the point of living if you don’t expect anything from life, Beth?”

I slip on the stack of bracelets I only take off to shower and for work. “ I’m just managing my expectations. I’m hopeful, but he’s leaving for his tour tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I get that … but we can’t help it, can we? You and me. We’re romantics - expectations are in our blood.”

I sit down on the bed with her and can’t repress my smile. “So…is that what you call what you’re doing with Jack? Romantic?”

She scowls. “No, I hate him. But he’s so hot, and I can’t keep my hands off him. But…no, he’s a pain in my ass.”

“Yeah, well, that means he’s probably your soul mate. Easy love only exists in fairytales. That’s where Prince Charming lives, too.”

“Uh-uh. Your Prince jumped out of the pages of your fairy tale, and he’s riding in on a white horse, and holding out a hand to you. You should take it.”

“Oh my God, you’re so dramatic. I’m just taking it as it comes.”

“Like you took his dick against that door today,” she waggles her eyebrows and I laugh even though I know I shouldn’t.

“Porhsaaaaa…Everyoneheard!” I moan and flop back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling as I recall my walk of shame out of there. She lays down next to me.

“My boss wouldn’t look me in the eye when she fired me. And I’m not even upset. I think I was using that job as crutch. Maybe the reckless sex was self-sabotage, you know so that I’d be forced to at least try to focus on painting full time.”

Porsha hums like she’s considering my very deep thought. “Or….what’smorelikely is that you’re just an exhibitionist who’s finally found someone to live her fantasy out with. Oooh, maybe our wedding can be a voyeur wedding. You two shag instead of kiss after you exchange vows.”

I smack her with a pillow, and she snorts a laugh.

“You’re talking about weddings…we haven’t even gone on a date.” I sigh, happily imagining my first date, full- fledged and real with Carter,

“Can I tell you something?” I ask her after a stretch of comfortable silence.

“When has the answer to that question ever been anything but yes. I look forward to the day that you just tell me without asking first,” she says.

“I feel so stupid saying it, but… when he handed me that envelope in my office, my first thought was that it was a plane ticket for tomorrow. How dumb, right?” I open one eye to look at her when she doesn’t respond.

She’s watching me with the biggest smile on her face and I quirk my lips in surprise.

“Why are you looking at me like I just tied my shoelaces by myself for the first time?”

---