Page 70 of Between Now and Always

“I’m so embarrassed. I don’t think I’ve ever fainted in my whole life,” she says and throws her head back so that the creamy olive skin of her throat is bared to me. The small beauty mark right in the center like a bull’s-eye for my lips. I lean forward, just want to get close enough to …

The door comes flying open.

“Beth, are you okay?” Her friend comes to stand next to me and shoots a worried glance over her shoulder at the door.

“My hand is killing me, and I’m embarrassed, but otherwise, I’m okay.” She gives a half-hearted chuckle and shoots her friend a deprecating smile.

“I’m so glad.” She shoots a dark look in my direction. “Someone tagged you in a picture on IG and there’s a line forming out the door.”

I grimace, but shrug. “Yeah, that’s what happens, I’m sorry we usually give a heads-up when we’re coming.”

“We called the police, they’re going to do some crowd control. It’ll be fine. Can you clean that? Put a Band-Aid on it?” She nods at the first aid kit and I just want her to leave again so I can finally have my girl to myself.

“Yeah, I got this, go ahead.”

“Oh, Carter, you don’t have to—” She starts to dismiss me and I stop her with the shake of my head.

“I do. Ihaveto,” I say meaningfully.

“Beth, I’ll let Emily know you’re down for a bit. I’ll see you later,” Gia calls as she turns and rushes back out of the room.

The door closes and I look back to find her watching me, and for a second I’m worried that she meant what she said about not wanting to see me.

She smiles. It’s tentative, pain lingers in her eyes, but it’s there and and it’s enough.

“I’ve missed you so fucking much.” Her smile disappears, her eyes drop to her lap and she leans away slightly. I stare at the top of her bowed head and want to punch myself.

I came on too strong. I clear my throat and reach for the first aid kit.

“Let’s get you bandaged up.” I pick up her injured hand to examine it. She flinches when I press the gauze to it.

“I’m sorry.” I blow on the huge blister that’s forming to cool it down.

“It’s okay. It just hurts a lot. Burns are an occupational hazard, and I think this looks worse than it is. They just always hurt so much,” she says quietly, her eyes still downcast.

I had imagined our reunion much differently. She was going to turn around, see me and rush into my arms. But, now I realize that this year of being idolized by every woman I meet has tainted my grasp on reality.

She hadn’t even wanted to see me.

“I’m sorry I walked in like that. I know you didn’t want to see me.”

“I didn’t mean that, Carter. I’m just mad at you,” she says softly and she looks at me full on, the unflinching honesty in her eyes slays me.

“I know. I’m sorry I didn’t bring her back to my place for sex. I spilled a pitcher of beer all over her at a bar around the corner. We work together, but she lives in Queens so I offered to let her use my shower. That was it. And that shit she said—the people in this business, they’re--”

“That’s not what I’ve been upset about.” She snaps.

“It’s not?” I blink.

She shakes her head.

“No, I was upset about Thanksgiving. I need to able totrustyou. When things get hard, or you don’t get your way, you can’t just throw your hands up and walk away or say things that you can’t take back.”

Her aim is true and her words carry the echo of a sentiment my father used to express and I wish I’d started with that part of my apology.

Satisfied that her burn is properly bandaged, I sit down next to her.

“I’m…impulsive. I know that. But, I swear to you that I will never open my mouth to say anything like what I said the other night.

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