Page 39 of Between Now and Always

It’s a big city, there’s no reason our paths should cross while she’s here. And yet, I already know that I will find a way to make it happen.

Between Now and Always, I will love him.

She still loves me, too. She’s tattooed it on her body that she always will.

How the hell will I be able to walk away from her again if she doesn’t want to see me again?

“We’re here. I can’t believe it,” Nadia’s excited voice pulls me back to the present.

We climb out of the car. This is the foundation’s official fundraiser. It’s not a major event red carpet, but there’s press in attendance. I’m their highest profile board member and they’re counting on me to help them make this evening successful in terms of fundraising. I do the obligatory interviews. I stop to grant one more to a young woman who tells me she’s twelve years old and is a budding YouTube journalist.

We’re inside in less than half an hour and are seated right away. I scan the room twice before I see her. Her back is to me, and she’s blond again. But I know it’s her.

The long fall of it is swept over one shoulder and I’d recognize the constellation of freckles that span her shoulders anywhere.

I spent so many nights tracing them with my fingers and my tongue and my eyes.

I start to stand when the lights flash and the master of ceremony announces that dinner is served. That’s when I notice a man next to her. His hand moves to wrap around her shoulders and he leans into whisper in her ear.

My heart sinks.

The intimacy between them is unmistakable. Jealousy grips me, knuckle white and red hot and for a second I can’t breathe.

“Oh my God, do you think she’s here?” Nadia whispers urgently next to me.

“We’ll find out soon enough, I guess,” I say with a tight smile.

She looks askance at me. “I wish you would lighten up, you’re starting to get on my nerves. Maybe if you smile, you’ll meet someone tonight.” She winks at me.

My phone rings. “Saved by the bell,” I say. I leave the table walk out into the small reception area to take the call.

“Yo, my guy came through,” Dave says as soon as I answer my phone.

“Oh, fuck yes. I owe you, man. Next time we’re in the same city, drinks are on me,” I say, relief cutting through some of the tension that’s been plaguing me all day.

“Dude, it’s a private visit to helicopter ride over the city. On a Sunday night. Last minute. Next time we’re in the same city,everythingis on you,” he says dryly.

I laugh, but don’t disagree. But now that I’ve seen her with that man, I’m not sure I’ll have any use for the tickets.

“She’s going to flip,” I say, trying to stay optimistic.Friendship is our only option…right? I can’t expect her to be like me and stay alone forever.

“Can’t wait to meet her. Hopefully you’ll finally get your shit together and I can.”

“If that isn’t the pot calling the kettle black, I don’t know what is, D. You still fucking someone else’s wife?”

He groans as if in pain. “Touché. You better be glad I like you, Carter. Talking shit before you have those tickets in hand, takes a lot of nerve, asshole.”

I laugh and stick my head back into the room. The servers at our table. Beth is no longer at hers.

“I gotta go. The event’s starting and I don’t want her to see me. This whole night is a surprise”

“I’ve got a performance in the morning and I’m fucking wasted. I need to go to sleep. Let me know how it goes. Hope the pussy’s worth it.”

Dave is our generation’s greatest violinist. And he looks like he just stepped out of a Ralph Lauren ad, but lives like he’s trying to set the world record for most debauched rock star.

“That’s not why I’m doing this. It’s not like that…she’s a friend. I want to do something special. That’s all,” I say it to convince him as much as myself.

“My man…all grown up and shit,” Dave chuckles. We say our goodbyes and head back inside and pray like a motherfucker that I haven’t hoped for too much.

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